Fake Hard Nipples
Give yourself the appearance of having nipples dialed all the way up to ten at all times with a set of reusable silicone nipples! It's a niche product, yeah. But a certain percentage of the people reading this sentence right…
Sketchy Hand Sanitizers
Somewhere in the middle of the 90s, little bottles of hand sanitizers started popping up everywhere you went. Like everyone all at the same time realized how gross everyone else's hands were, collectively decided there should be a mobile solution…
Gun Safety for Cats
Firearms must be treated with respect. Guns are not toys! Everyone knows that... Well, people know that. Cats have no idea... You ever try to talk to a cat about gun safety? It's incredibly frustrating. You're sitting there, explaining why you…
Leather Shoulder Cover
You know the feeling. It's like, "Damn, I wish I didn't have to wear an entire shirt. It's really only my shoulders that I'm trying to cover. Specifically and exclusively my shoulders - not even the collarbone." Yeah, that feeling that we've…
Edamame Keychain
We've got a new contender for cutest keychain of all time! Edamame is one of the most fun foods to eat and this keychain recreates the experience for you to play with whenever you get bored. You've seen all these…
Brain Candle
Calling all wannabe evil scientists! drunkMall can't make you any smarter so you're on your own with the science stuff but you know how the bad guy in the movie or cartoon always has a laboratory with shelves full of…
Lemon Cooler Bag
Keep everything so, so chill with a brand new cooler bag! Lugging a big cooler around almost never works as an accessory to a cute outfit. Music festivals and river floats, you're gonna need a big fucking cooler, of course.…
Pottymouth Pencils
Take note, bitches! It's time to start getting shit done. Write that shit down, get it out there and wait for everyone to recognize how fucking brilliant you are! Sorry/not sorry for all the cursing but, if you somehow skipped…
Dog Food Condiments
Think about how often you use condiments to improve the whole situation on a table in front of you. Now think about your dog. Don't you think your dog would love a little extra something something on that depressing ass…
Vampire Couple Salt and Pepper Shakers
Don't be scared to reach for the spices - they don't bite! Give your dinner a vampire's kiss of salt or pepper with these wickedly cute table shakers! The shaker set is truly adorable. One shaker leans in to kiss…
Mail-A-Butt
You probably never realized that you want to send a butt in the mail to someone but you so totally do. And who could blame you for that? Cheekmail fashions little butt casts made of plaster for you to send…
Animal Style Fries Air Freshener
Every lover of animal style fries needs this air freshener in their life! Animal style is a way of life. Know how you can tell? The next time you're in a fine fast food dining establishment that offers fries animal…