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Shark Attack Beach Towel

Shark Attack Beach Towel

  • Mar 06, 2017

Shark attack! Two words you definitely don't want to hear at the beach. But don't let that stop you from enjoying this beach towel with a bit of a darkly comic design for the occasion! Sharks are awesome, okay? Honestly,…

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Awesome Frisbee Game

Awesome Frisbee Game

  • Mar 06, 2017

While it's not in drunkMall's best interests to have you doing anything except using an Internet-connected device to look at the things we post on this site and then buy those things, the fact is that you will eventually want…

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Smart Bikinis

Smart Bikinis

  • Mar 04, 2017

Imagine never getting sunburned again. Okay now put your imagination back in the box of things you haven't used since you got a Netflix subscription -┬áthe technology is real! Spinali Design has created "smart bikinis" that performs several functions. Waterproof…

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Chile Nelson Bottle Sleeve

Chile Nelson Bottle Sleeve

  • Mar 02, 2017

Protect the precious contents of your glass bottles with a spicy but chill bit of cloth insulation! Foodiggity's "Freaker" bottle sleeves are one-size-fits-all pieces made of stretchy fabric meant to slide over the body of your (presumably booze-filled) bottles. It…

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Porking Piggies Salt and Pepper Shakers

Porking Piggies Salt and Pepper Shakers

  • Mar 01, 2017

Shake things up in the kitchen! This salt and pepper shaker set (obviously) looks like a couple of pigs doing one of probably, like, four total things pigs ever actually do: fuck. For fans of pigs, porkin', salt and/or paper,…

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Candy Leggings

Candy Leggings

  • Mar 01, 2017

How sweet it is to find a new favorite pair of leggings! With a soft and comfortable poly/spandex blend that's lightweight and breathable, these are that type of leggings that you look at in the dirty clothes pile and wonder…

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Nudifier App

Nudifier App

  • Mar 01, 2017

Pulling down your friends' pants in public used to be a socially acceptable way to hilariously embarrass them. Unfortunately, now that we're all adults, it's a socially unacceptable way to get someone put on a list they'll never get off…

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X-Ray Oven Mitt

X-Ray Oven Mitt

  • Feb 27, 2017

Burning all the flesh and sinew off your hand until there's nothing left but raw bone might sound like a pure badass move. But actually, kitchen safety is the real pure badass move. (Hey, fuck off. We're trying to be…

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Guide to Traumatizing Your Children

Guide to Traumatizing Your Children

  • Feb 27, 2017

Nobody really needs help traumatizing their own children. It's inevitable that you're going to do it. But much like how it's worse to be cut with a dull blade than a sharp one (something about more tearing of the tissue),…

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Snail Goop Face Mask

Snail Goop Face Mask

  • Feb 26, 2017

We will put anything on our faces in the name of beauty. Right away you know some jerk is probably sitting there trying to think of something they can say in the comments that people wouldn't put on their face.…

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EXCLUSIVE: Scottish Appreciation Day

EXCLUSIVE: Scottish Appreciation Day

  • Feb 25, 2017

It's a rare bird that doesn't love a bit of Scotland, whether you know it or not. With St. Patrick's Day coming up, the entire drinking world will soon be singing the praises of children of Ireland (if not claiming…

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Great Nudes Coffee Mug

Great Nudes Coffee Mug

  • Feb 25, 2017

Dicks and titties make the world go 'round. Just go to any museum and count the dicks and titties in there - we'll wait. Yeah, yeah - that's "art" and we're being "crass" about it. Whatever. Old dicks and titties…

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