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Towelie Backpack

Towelie Backpack

Never leave home without your towel. Is it possible that Douglas Adams, when he gave that advice through a character in his Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, was predicting the existence of Towelie? Of course it's possible! If you think…

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Future Shoes

Future Shoes

Remember last year when Nike was supposed to finally make those shoes from Back to the Future 2 a reality? And then they didn't come out in time for the date from the movie and then only Michael J. Fox…

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Mini Fire Extinguisher

Mini Fire Extinguisher

Nobody's trying to get all public park cartoon bear infomercial on you about it but fire safety is legit important to successfully functioning as an adult in modern society. Do you even know what to do if a grease fire…

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Hoodie Travel Pillow

Hoodie Travel Pillow

Listen, we'll force hoodie season early. We don't care. Who cares? They've got light hoodies these days. You can get a hoodie made with light fabric, especially if you're gonna be spending the day in an airport. It's never a…

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Echo Dot Holder

Echo Dot Holder

It's weird because Disney opened Epcot all the way back in the 80s and that was supposed to be the head of the pack for smart homes and "living in the future" and all of that. Didn't really end up…

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GIFT GUIDE: Hoop Fever

GIFT GUIDE: Hoop Fever

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck arguing over what hunting season it is looks a lot like drunkMall HQ getting excited about what sports season it is. Football season! Basketball season! Football season! Basketball- You get the idea... NBA draft is…

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Game Boy Wallet

Game Boy Wallet

You're probably thinking, "Why wouldn't I just keep my money in a real Game Boy?" Good question. You may have failed to notice this but actual Game Boys are frequently too bulky to fit in an average pocket. Plus the…

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Cockroach Pool Float

Cockroach Pool Float

Now that's a big cockroach! Laying out in the sun at the pool all day seems totally glamorous. And maybe it is. But if there's one thing John Waters has taught us about glam, it's that glam and trash are purely…

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Japanese Bondage Coloring Book

Japanese Bondage Coloring Book

Are coloring books the new Tumblr? Because Tumblr hit the scene like ten years ago and their users started posting porn all over the site like 9 years and 364 days ago. Now you can't even open your Tumblr app…

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Ultimate Relaxation Hoodie

Ultimate Relaxation Hoodie

One thing in this crazy world is certain: if they ever build a Comfort Museum then they'll have to save a whole wing in it for hoodies. Do you have a favorite hoodie? Of course you do. Everyone does. Because…

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ESSENTIALS: Summer Vacation

ESSENTIALS: Summer Vacation

In one week it will officially be summer. If you're doing your life correctly then that means at least one journey should be in your near future, even if you aren't still in school or teaching at one. Whether you…

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Bob’s Burgers Flip-Open Watch

Bob’s Burgers Flip-Open Watch

It's burger time, baby! Burgers are a way of life and if you aren't living your best burger life then shame be upon you and yours! The anti-burger propagandists don't want you to have your burgers. They want to talk…

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