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Fire-Breathing Godzilla Toy

Fire-Breathing Godzilla Toy

Oh, Japan. What will they think of next.

Has anyone else seen this insane Godzilla toy? You’d think it would be illegal to give a lung-powered flamethrower to children but, as it says right on the packaging, there are apparently “no laws against it.”

Just pour lighter fluid down Godzilla’s throat, make sure the pilot is lit and blow on the tail to send monster-sized blasts of fire raging out of G Zilla’s open mouth! It’s almost definitely the closest you’ll ever get to actually being a fire-breathing lizard monster, so enjoy it while you can because customs will surely figure out that they should stop orders of this thing from entering the country…

Except it’s not real.

Sorry. But, also, not sorry because you knew drunkMall would have to do something for April Fool’s and this honestly isn’t even that bad. We wanted to temporarily redirect drunkMall’s homepage to a webstore where you can 100% for real purchase dildos that are made to resemble dragon dicks. (Oh, yeah. That’s a fucking thing, kids.) But the bossman shot that idea down pretty much immediately…

Anyway, feel free to spread the joke around. Send the photo to your friends with kids and ask them if it’s cool that you bought that for their child’s upcoming birthday party. Do whatever you’re gonna do and, if you want, tell people that is the greatest website on the Internet because it totally is.

Happy Holidays!

[If this post got you feeling brave then you should see if you can handle drunkMall’s Monsters Are Real Gift Guide – it’s scary cool!]

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