50 Random Stamps
Need some stamps? We found a lot of stamps. Holy shit, like, really, a lot of stamps. 50, in fact. 50 stamps. A lot of you are probably wondering right now why anyone would want or need to have 50…
Spider Earrings
Creepy crawly arachnid jewelry! Bug lovers and horror fans and goth kids alike will love to see these eight-legged freaky-fanged spider earrings! Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach! The halves of these earrings come together at…
Penis Straws
Sip on a dick! Penis straws represent the latest in phallic drinking technology. These are cutting edge cock straws, ladies and gentlemen! You won't find a finer dick and balls drinking straw in all the land. Shoutout to bachelorette parties…
Pocket Scream
Please don't run away in terror from your computer screen. Yes, it's disturbing. Oddly familiar but somehow wrong. Like browsing a bookstore while on vacation in a foreign country. You look away from the shelves in time to glimpse a face you're…
Brass Balls Door Knocker
You've got to have some pretty big balls to put this knocker on your front door! Keep solicitors at bay by making sure they know exactly who they're dealing with before they even get around to knocking on the door.…
Life Manual for Adults
Think about this: How much older than you are right now were your parents when they had you? It's probably not that much of an age gap, if there is one at all. Okay, now ask yourself if you're going…
Cardboard Butler
It's hard to watch movies like Batman and Arthur or TV shows like The Nanny or Archer without thinking about how nice it would be to have a butler. However, butlers are human beings, which *sigh* means you have to…
Super Loud Pocket Alarm
If you can't immediately think of 10 reasons why you need to own a pocket-sized device capable of creating blasts of noise over 100 decibels in volume... Well, your inner child needs to be let out to play. First, obviously,…
Shredded American Money
Hey, look. It's a picture of the U.S. Economy. Jokes! These are jokes, people! Come on, now... But seriously, folks. Haven't you ever wanted to take a bunch of money and just light on fire or destroy it or something?…
Biography of Nicolas Cage
Unfortunately, Nicolas Cage has not yet written an autobiography. (Can you even imagine? No, you can't. There is no frame of reference for anything approaching how amazing it would be.) So, for now, those of us who are extremely obsessed…
Ghost Pepper Peanuts
Fans of super spicy snacks, these could be the nuts you're looking for! If you like the heat, you may already recognize that logo. Da Bomb makes some of the hottest hot sauces in the game. (Seriously, if you think…
Wooden Dick Bottle Opener
Don't leave granny alone in the kitchen with this bottle opener! We're talking 8 inches of wooden man parts, handmade in Bali, Indonesia and shipped ready to pop bottles. It's just so... big! This is one bottle opener you won't spend…