Maybe you can resist doughnuts in the name of ab muscles or a smaller butt.
Perhaps jelly beans have long been filed away in your mental cabinet of Bad Things for Bad People I’m So Bad if I Eat These Bad Things.
Bad news bears, this will break your defenses… and that’s okay! In case you haven’t heard, most of the (supposedly) civilized world is headed for nuclear winter soon. You think you get bonus points in the afterlife for not eating whatever you want? News flash: you don’t. Bonus news flash: there’s no afterlife. Triple double bonus news flash: even if nuclear war doesn’t break out, you’re still going to die someday, no matter how healthy of a corpse you leave behind.
Do you really want to bounce out of existence without knowing what it’s like to eat a whole gift box of Jelly Belly jelly beans flavored exactly like Krispy Kreme doughnuts?
YOLO, people. YOLO.