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Carolina Reaper Pepper Grinder

Carolina Reaper Pepper Grinder

This. Is. Not. A. Toy. The only people who should even be considering this as a purchase are those of you with iron guts and Teflon assholes. You know, the kind of person that automatically orders the most extreme level…

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Hitler Assassination Adventure Book

Hitler Assassination Adventure Book

It's a question older than just about everyone reading this sentence: If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you do it? Now, here's a book that pre-supposes the answer to that question is "yes," choosing instead…

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Baconopoly

Baconopoly

Game night just got a lot saltier! Bacon-opoly takes a very familiar board game setup and takes it to hog heaven by throwing a bacon theme on every aspect of the game! (If they didn't rename Park Place "Pork Place"…

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Metal Vacuum Straw

Metal Vacuum Straw

Pack a nose full in style, using a metal vacuum cleaner "snuff" straw! Listen, whatever you wanna put up your nose, that's none of our business - except for one thing: cash. Don't put rolled up currency in your nose. It's…

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2017 Dragon Sex Calendar

2017 Dragon Sex Calendar

Who's ready for 2017? There's been a lot of talk recently about how "bad" of a year this 2016 has been. Lots of famous people died, politics divided Americans in extreme ways and someone, somewhere, walked in on their parents…

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Tenacious D Cum Towel

Tenacious D Cum Towel

Possibly the greatest piece of music merchandise ever made and we should expect nothing less from Tenacious D, the self-proclaimed best rock band in the world. Featuring a cute pastel colored cartoon of such magical things as butterflies, a rainbow,…

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UFO Detector

UFO Detector

Holy Anunnaki! Did you know that anyone who wants to can buy a UFO detector? You'd think those things would be classified or require some sort of license or something but guess not. In addition to looking pretty neat with…

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Spice Cam Polaroid

Spice Cam Polaroid

What's this? Yet another Spice Girls related product on drunkMall this week? You know that's right! In the late 90s, when everything good that has ever happened was in the middle of happening, Polaroid teamed up with those Spiciest of…

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Cat Butthole Tissue Holder

Cat Butthole Tissue Holder

What's with all the cat butthole products lately? You people are getting worse by the day... Anyway, here we go. This, as you are no doubt aware by now, is a tissue box holder that achieves the effect of tissues…

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Biggie Air Freshener

Biggie Air Freshener

Biggie was, is and always will be the definition of "fresh," so it only makes sense that he'd be made into a baller ass air freshener such as the one before you now. Hang this guy from the rearview of…

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Life Size Cardboard Hippo

Life Size Cardboard Hippo

Hippos are apparently one of the deadliest creatures on the planet and also mean as shit. You wouldn't want to have one as a pet, in other words. They are pretty cute, though, in like an "extraterrestrial pig dog" kinda…

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Pizza Umbrella

Pizza Umbrella

There's nothing some good pizza can't help, even a rainy day! It seems like every time you actually need an umbrella, there isn't one anywhere to be found. Yeah, there is probably more than one good reason for that. Umbrellas…

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