SPRING BREAK: Pool Party
You better be ready to get wet!
Whatever else is going on in your world, good or bad, doesn’t matter to the weather. When the sun comes out to play, you gotta forget all that other business and start figuring out what pools are available for you and your crew to take over. Get outside, enjoy being outside, make sure to check out drunkMall’s the great outdoors tag for inspiration…
Public pools are not the best option for a banging party, obviously. You don’t want to show up with a bunch of special toys and party enhancements just so a bunch of random children can get germs all over your stuff. Plus you probably aren’t “allowed” to have alcohol at your local public pool. So we can all agree – fuck that.
The next option to look at is sneaking in to a private pool at an apartment complex or gated community or even a hotel. Much better than a public pool, for sure. Some hotel pools will let you get away with murder, too. The best way to run this game is if you’ve got someone on the inside – a resident or guest who’s willing to vouch for your gang.
Far and away the best way to throw a pool party is to get rich enough to own your own pool. You should do it.
Okay, let’s look at fun pool stuff!
#1 Massive Inflatable Flamingo
First thing’s first – you gotta let people know where the party at!
Nothing says “this is where the party at” like an inflatable pink flamingo that is literally 11 feet tall. It does NOT come with an air pump so you will 100% want to have a hair dryer around to blow this thing up because you’ll probably pass out way before getting it full with lung power.
#2 Gigantic Rubber Ducky
Don’t worry. There are other things in this post besides massive inflatable birds.
But come on!
How are we gonna not post the giant rubber ducky?
It’s a little over half the size of that flamingo up there, which is still pretty heckin’ big! (It’s over 6 feet tall, in other words.) Also, this dude can go in the pool with you, just like your little rubber ducky from when you were a kid!
#3 Floating Cornhole
Pool toys are next level these days.
Back in the 90s, we basically had water guns and pool noodles. Maybe the occasional actual basketball hoop positioned near the pool, which is dangerous as shit for like a dozen different reasons.
Now you can find a floating version of pretty much any game that you can think of, which is nice. The versatility of cornhole is one of its main selling points. You can essentially play cornhole anywhere that is even remotely flat and now you can play it in water!
#4 Motorized Float with Mounted Water Gun
Most adults did not grow up with anything anywhere near this epic for pool parties. These things are basically inner tubes with a built-in water cannon and a propellor to move you around the pool while you blast people in their dumb innocent faces with streams of pool water.
Heads up, though. These are made for children. Small people under 100 pounds can probably get in one but otherwise this has to be saved for the kids.
#5 Underwater Treadmill
Since you most likely can’t fit into the floaty tube with a built-in propellor, you’re gonna want to work on your pool legs!
This treadmill is actually made to go in a pool, obviously at the shallow end (unless you’ve got a really serious weight vest and a death wish). There is no electricity involved, so you don’t have to worry about cabling becoming exposed and creating a death hazard. However, the lack of electricity (and, in fact, any motorized equipment at all) means your legs will have to provide all the power to run (or walk) on the treadmill!
Leg day just got way more intense, huh?
#6 Big Bobber Cooler
Refreshments are a necessity for any party and pool parties generally happen on sunny days, so the last thing you want is a bunch of dehydrated party goers.
So, yeah, get a cooler. Duh. No big deal. Everyone knows about coolers.
Except maybe you don’t know everything about coolers, bros and bro-ettes.
First thing you’re gonna want to do is check out the spring/summer fun tag on drunkMall because we’ve posted some mind-blowing coolers on this site before.
Next, here’s a cooler we’ve never posted before that’s essentially a giant bobber with a cooler inside of it.
Yeah, that’s right. It’s a floating cooler. Just about everything in this post floats. Get with the program, Pennywise.
#7 Water Jousting Set
Party fouls happen.
Sometimes grievances must be settled.
Ideally these grievances will be settled in a form of competition that is relatively non-lethal as well as entertaining for everyone else to watch. We’d love to recommend that you consider jousting.
It’s a classic form of martial combat with a long and esteemed history. Combatants sit astride their log float and use their other inflatable weapon thing to try and knock each other into the water.
Simple and effective. Get into it.
#8 Webbed Gloves
There isn’t enough space here for a rundown of all the various games and sports that can be played in a pool.
What we can do is suggest one small hack that should help you outperform the competition in anything that requires moving through the water: webbed gloves!
Just like webbed feet help all those cute aquatic animals get around in the water, you can strap your hands into a pair of webbed gloves (made by Speedo) and upgrade your body!
#9 14-Foot Inflatable Movie Screen
The sun going down can be the death of a pool party – or it can be just the beginning!
All you gotta do is shift gears a little bit. Some things are great for partying outdoors in the day time – drinking beer, rough-housing, playing games that require a well-lit playing area, etc. Other things are more suited to night parties – drinking more because the sun went down, not worrying about reapplying sunscreen, chilling and watching a movie.
Give your whole crew a night at the movies without relocating everyone with this huge blowup movie screen!
#10 Star Trek Captain’s Chair Float
What’s the point of throwing a kickass party unless everyone knows you’re the person who threw it?
Get yourself a captain’s chair direct from the bridge of USS Enterprise!
The extra wide seating area with tall armrests gives off those luxury and authority vibes. You can relax like a space captain and float around the pool while enjoying the fruits of your hard work as the party happens all around you!
[BONUS: more great pool party ideas can be found in drunkMall’s Spring Breakers Essentials gift guide!]