EXCLUSIVE: Spring Breakers Essentials

Spring Break is… Well, it’s whenever it is.

Different schools do it at different times. Whatever.

We pretty much have to do a big Spring Break post, so here it is! If you already had your Spring Break by the time this showed up on your timeline, subscribe to drunkMail and you’ll find out about this stuff sooner! Everyone else, let’s pretend you’re reading this at the exact perfect moment to stock up on everything you need for a great beach local vacation.

Ready? Go.

All right, it’s Spring Break! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Pack light, party hard and make all those amazing memories you’ll be pretty sure actually happened for the rest of your life when you talk about the glory days! Just about everyone goes to the beach for Spring Break because it’s still kinda half-ass Winter in a lot of places and kids want to be warm when they party off that college stress.

Here are ten things you need to know about before heading south for a week:

#1 JAWS Beach Towel

Sharks are just about the last thing people on a beach want to think about, so that’s why you roll up to the spot with a JAWS beach towel to let ’em know you’re different. Packing your own beach towel can eat up a lot of space in a suitcase, which is why you want to get a thin towel such as this. They have boring, thick towels at hotels. This isn’t about that.

Hitchhiker’s Guide, fans. We see you.

#2 Fake Sunscreen Flasks

Sunscreen is so, so important. Find out about it on another site and make sure you have and use some real sunscreen. Also make sure that your real sunscreen doesn’t look anything like these fake sunscreen bottle flasks because you don’t want a shot of zinc oxide in your secret beach cocktail.

#3 USA Tank Top

When you’re out on the beach, gettin’ rad and making friends with strangers, you’re representing the badass country where you live. Especially if you decide to Break your Spring abroad, it’s important to stand up and be proud of your homeland.

That won’t be a problem at all with this patriotic, unisex tank top.

#4 The Ultimate Snorkel Mask

When you’re in a tropical paradise with clear waters, you’ve gotta take some time to get out there and experience it for yourself. Snorkeling has always sucked but that’s because a snorkeling mask like this never existed before!

With a full 180 degree view, this is like switching from an old tube television to an HD LED flatscreen. And there isn’t even a mouthpiece! Fasten this mask to your face for an airtight seal and simply breathe as you would above water.

#5 Vuvuzelas

When you get back to the shore from your scuba adventure, there’s no telling where your friends will have wandered off to while you were gone. If only there were some easy way to call your crew to assembly…

Forget about smartphones! Make sure everyone in your group has one of the most annoying noisemakers ever: the vuvuzela! You may recognize the sound of vuvuzela from televised futbol matches. It’s basically a bro conch shell. You can even come up with your own form of Morse code!

#6 Follow Me Bring Beer flip flops

The days of going out and talking to real people to invite them to your hotel party are long gone… No, we’re not talking about Tinder or Grindr… It’s a pair of flip flops that leave the message “FOLLOW ME BRING BEER” behind you on the beach!

Pro Tip: When you’re walking away from your hotel, go barefoot. Put these flip-flops on once you’re headed back to your soon-to-be-legendary hotel party.

#7 Rapid Drink Chiller

Assuming some people do follow your party trail and bring beer, there’s always a chance that beer could be warm. Not a problem!

Every party kid knows you can roll a canned or bottled beverage back and forth on top of some ice to cool it down quickly. Someone out there got tired of doing it by hand and invented a sort of power drill to do the work faster and easier! Works with bottles or cans and chills a drink in literally one minute.

#8 Donut Pool Float

Every day is cheat day on Spring Break, every day.

Chill out and relax in this giant donut pool float, which sends the message that you’re no stranger to temptation…

#9 Bulk-Fill Water Balloons

But laying around at the pool all day is nowhere near crazy enough for Spring Break. This isn’t a retirement home. Sooner or later, there will be blood …a water balloon fight.

When the feud breaks out, don’t get caught trying to fill up ammo one at a time. Turbo-reload your water balloon stockpile with these speed loaders. Each bundle fills thirty-seven balloons at once!

#10 Glow-in-the-Dark Unbreakable Pints

Most pools have a rule against glass containers, so right away that’s a great reason to bring your own pint not-glass from home. Need more reasons?

These are made out of silicone and will not break!

Get one with a special design and let everyone else worry about which red plastic cup is theirs!

Get a glow-in-the-dark design and easily find it at night!

[BONUS: look at more “fun in the sun” ideas on drunkMall’s Pool Party gift guide!]

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