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GIFT GUIDE: Bag It Up!

Bag It Up

You ever think about how many different types of bags there are in the world?

Well you’re about to because that’s what we decided to do this week – scour the Internet for all the different kinds of notable bags being sold today and present the best of them here!

We’re talking about backpacks and satchels and purses, yes. But also some bags that can help you enjoy better snacks, epic sleeping bags and at least one kind of bag that will probably get you a table all to yourself in the cafeteria…

Everyone needs a good bag. Let’s get you set up with a new one today!

#1 Anti-Theft Backpack

Anti-Theft Backpack

Kicking things off here with the biggest upgrade to the standard backpack, maybe ever?

Because the thing about backpack is that they’re a pack… that goes on your back…

Convenient way to carry something, for sure. But also a great way to have your shit stolen from you. You might be fully invested in a “walk and text” session or catching up some Netflix with earbuds in. Honestly, you don’t even have to be distracted at all – just walking into a crowd with a normal backpack is pretty much asking for someone to see what you’ve got in that thing.

This backpack makes it extremely difficult for any thieves to do that!

All of the zippered openings are well hidden, which not only protects your valuables and whatnot but also presents a sleek, minimal appearance.

#2 Spiked Knuckles Croc Clutch

Spiked Knuckles Croc Clutch

Or perhaps you prefer intimidation tactics.

This faux-crocodile clutch has a handle that looks a lot like a set of brass knuckles with large, scary spikes!

At around six inches in length, you could fit this in a large purse.

Don’t want to take a purse?

There’s a detachable chain strap (about four feet long) you can use or just slide your fingers into the handle like you would wear a pair of brass knuckles!

#3 Sandwich Toaster Bags

Sandwich Toaster Bags

Food bags?

Food bags.

These specially designed, non-toxic plastic bags are made to house a freshly made sandwich as that sandwich is placed into a toaster to be upgraded into a crisp and hot snack without even turning on the stove!

#4 Great White Shark Shoulder Bag

Great White Shark Shoulder Bag

You literally cannot leave home without a bag during shark week.

Leaving the success of your day up to the assumption that there will be tampon machines when and where you need them is essentially playing a game of Russian roulette with your underwear, if not the rest of your outfit.

These great white shark bags are finished with a shiny patent vinyl and have a fabric lined interior for killer form and comfortable function!

#5 Wearable Star Wars Sleeping Bags

Wearable Star Wars Sleeping Bags

When you’ve got a Star Wars convention at 8 but bedtime is at 9, you’ve got no time to waste with changing into pajamas or even getting into a bed!

Not an issue!

Selk’bag (they’re Chilean) have introduced a new line of their wearable sleeping bag – this time styled after iconic characters from Star Wars! There’s a Chewbacca bag, a stormtrooper bag, a rebel fighter pilot bag and, you guessed it, a Lord Vader bag!

#6 Bean Bag Pool Float

Bean Bag Pool Float

Pool floats are great. We post a lot of them.

Perhaps every single pool float we’ve ever posted except for this one, though, requires inflation of some kind. Not only can this be a pain in the ass (or chest) if you’ve got to blow it up without a pump but also things that are full of air can be popped and rendered useless.

You don’t want to stab these bean bag pool floats with a knife or anything stupid like that but they come ready to float – no inflation necessary!

#7 Leather Fortune Cookie Coin Purse

Leather Fortune Cookie Coin Purse

If you’re in need of a unique coin purse then you’re in luck!

This leather pouch looks just like a big fortune cookie, complete with a fortune tag hanging from one end. The clasp closure keeps your change securely locked inside the pouch!

#8 Sheepskin Bean Bag

Sheepskin Bean Bag

Why are bean bags always made out of that sticky vinyl junk that adheres to your skin like super glue? It’s like wearing that latex suit from season 1 of American Horror Story when all you signed up for was chilling in a bean bag to watch some television.

Forget all that noise. Someone finally got around to creating a bean bag for the luxury crowd!

This beanbag is handmade with a 100% Patagonian sheepskin exterior! Get it in white or brown and be prepared to see a price tag because it ain’t cheap!

#9 Seal and Pour Bag Clip

Seal and Pour Bag Clip

Go open the cabinets in your kitchen (or check the pantry, for you rich folks) and count the bags.

Everything is in bags!

Even the foods that come in boxes probably have a bag on the inside. Bags are awesome but they could use a little help when it comes to keeping food fresh. Bag clips are awesome too but, you know, same.

This genius invention lets you attach a pouring spout to any of your bags!

Keep coffee, cereal, snack crackers or whatever else fresh with a tightly clipped seal. Then, simply flip the lid open and pour when you want some of what’s inside!

#10 Human Organ Lunch Cooler

Human Organ Lunch Cooler

Still bringing your lunch with you every day?

Hey, we’re not even here to make fun. That’s honestly smart.

Packing a lunch is the best way to make sure you have the food you want and need while also saving money by not dining out or ordering delivery every day.

Here’s a lunch cooler printed with the words HUMAN ORGAN FOR TRANSPLANT!

Even if everyone isn’t naive enough to believe there’s really a set of kidneys or whatever in there (and, believe us, there will be some people who believe it), at least you can sufficiently gross people out by making them think of bloody human organs and they’ll be less inclined to steal your lunch!

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