Wake Up Mug
Caffeine is a hell of a drug. But also, life is Hell without caffeine. So embrace the daily cycle of withdrawal and fixing that comes with any addiction worth the price of admission! Yeah, you'll wake up every day feeling…
GIFT GUIDE: Horsin’ Around
The Kentucky Derby - which is a superb excuse to get drunk, wear funny clothes and win or lose various sums of money while yelling at running horses - goes down this weekend. It's a truly great American tradition, as…
Astronaut Shirt
Take yourself on a spacewalk with a new shirt! Astronauts in training, hobbyist astronomers and anyone with a general appreciation for science and the universe should have a look at this tee. That's right - everyone currently alive should be able…
Gun Safety for Cats
Firearms must be treated with respect. Guns are not toys! Everyone knows that... Well, people know that. Cats have no idea... You ever try to talk to a cat about gun safety? It's incredibly frustrating. You're sitting there, explaining why you…
Fuck a Job Socks
Embrace non-employment by wearing a pair of socks with a curse word on them! Maybe you're retired or "self-employed" or an Internet celebrity. You could even have won the life lottery and been born to mega-rich parents, forgoing the need…
Sriracha Gumballs
Holy hot gumballs, Batman! Proving yet again that sriracha is closer to a literal religion than it is to an ordinary hot sauce, here we have gumballs packing the immediately recognizable flavor of everyone's favorite red chile sauce. The packaging is…
1 Year of Freeze Dried Food
The only reason anyone would need a full year's supply of freeze dried food is if, you know, nuclear war breaks out or global warming leads to the surface of the planet being largely uninhabitable or the government collapses entirely…
Hands-Free Dog Leash
Batman isn't the only one with a utility belt now! Strap this thing around your waist before heading out on a run and give yourself 3 zippered compartments for storing important items (money, ID, phone, etc.), a water bottle holder…
Patrick Shorts
Hit up the spot dressed like a fan favorite from Bikini Bottom, Patrick Star! That dumbass starfish is always sporting these shorts when getting into trouble with his best friend Spongebob Squarepants. Now you can wear the shorts too! If you had…
Assorted Beer Candies
Assorted hard candies inspired by a variety of craft beers. Uh, yes please! It's almost as if you get a little older and the candy makers of the world stop making candy just for you. You can still buy the…
Cannonball Beer Growlers
Great balls of beer! Don't go looking around for a cannon to load - this ain't that kind of party. They might look like cannonballs but it's a different ammo hiding in these spheres - beer! With the standard growler…
EXCLUSIVE: Super Shower Shop
For a lot of people taking a shower is the best part of their day. Whether you like the water steaming hot or as cold as it will go, stepping out of a shower so fresh and so clean - it's a…