EXCLUSIVE: Zombiepocalypse
If you’re reading this then the zombie apocalypse hasn’t happened.
Yet.
But ask anyone who’s seen, like, a single news headline from the year 2016 how possible it is for a zombiepocalypse to go down and they’ll probably tell you that it’s FUCKING LIKELY!
So get ready, folks.
Look around your social circle. Find the guy who owns more than one chainsaw or has a rack of axes hanging in the woodshed. Wait until it’s just the two of you alone sometime and start using the word “prepared” as often as possible. If you’re lucky, that person will look around to make sure no one else is around and let you in one their secret: they’re a zombie survivalist and when the shit goes down, you can ride with them.
Until that day comes, look at all this neat zombie stuff we found! Don’t forget to check the ZOMBIES! department on the site for even more great zombified gear!
#1 Chia Zombie Arm
Most people have turned a houseplant or two into a zombie in their lives.
Maybe you just set your sights too high? Got a little more ambitious than necessary?
Anyway, what did that stupid plant ever do for you? All it does is just sit there, being green, needing water and sunlight…
Chia plants, on the other hand, are very easy to maintain. This one has a zombie arm sticking out of it!
#2 Pink Flamingo Zombie Gnome Feast
One of the first things ever posted to drunkMall was a crawling zombie garden gnome.
Today we found a killer progression on that theme: a trio of zombie gnomes devouring a pink flamingo!
It’s like a commentary on the superficiality of suburban America.
Or something.
#3 Zombie Head Bottle Opener
Zombify your brain in style!
It’s a wall-mounted zombie head bottle opener. Perfect for the home bar of any undead drinkers out there. Sure to be a huge hit at Walking Dead viewing parties, too!
#4 Gummy Brains
What do we want?
BRAINS!
When do we want them?
BRAAAAAIIIINNSSS!
These delicious gummy brains are simply to die for!
The outside is a strawberry flavored gummy and they have a juicy fruity filling for extra squishiness and fun!
#5 Zombie Hand Wine Goblets
Most depictions of zombies show them as having very poor manners, to say the least.
Usually their clothes are in tatters, their actual flesh is various states of disrepair and they don’t seem to be able to carry on a conversation of any cultural significance at all.
And maybe that’s not fair.
We don’t know.
Perhaps zombies are just as socially capable as the rest of us to enjoy a night at the opera, a gallery opening, a bottle of good wine…
These zombie hand wine goblets are for only the distinguished among the dead.
#6 The Walking Dead Risk
Fans of The Walking Dead like to talk about what they would do if they found themselves in those situations. You know, they’re always smarter than the characters and everything.
Here’s your chance to really get into the strategy required to not only survive a zombie outbreak but use it as an opportunity to claim world domination!
It’s Risk: The Walking Dead edition!
#7 Bleeding Zombie Shooting Target
Practice those shotgun skills!
Listen, you can shoot paper targets all day long but don’t you think it’ll be a little different when there’s a real zombie coming at you? That’s why we recommend this zombie target!
When you shoot it, it really bleeds!
Each zombie target can take 1,000 shots – that’s a lot of practice!
#8 Ask Me About My Zombie Shirt
You don’t want to be that person who’s always rambling on their interests whether or not anyone else actually cares…
This shirt can help you find others with shared interests. Well, as long as that interest is zombies!
The front of the shirt says “ASK ME ABOUT MY ZOMBIE DISGUISE” and pulling it up over the wearer’s head reveals this ghastly zombie face!
#9 Zombie Dreams Bedding
This is one freaky bedding set!
The duvet cover features zombie hands coming in from the bloody edges, reaching for the sleeping person whose head is resting on one of the two pillowcases featuring a nice blood spill design, like their head has already been cracked open to expose those delicious brains!
#10 Undead Teddy Bears
When you’re tucked away at night in your zombie bed, awaiting your sweet zombie dreams, you should have a friend with you for comfort.
Undead Teds are teddy bears that have been, uh, “customized,” shall we say?
Hit up the link below to check out the many different designs they’ve done so far but good luck buying one because they sell out almost as quickly as they can be made. You might have to put in a custom order to get your hands on one of these babies!
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