You can’t glue the broke pieces of your life back together with unicorns and rainbows but if you need to, like, tape an envelope shut or some administrative shit like that – we’ve got great news for you – that exists!
First of all, rainbow tape exists. You’re welcome for that knowledge. It has little stars of different sizes printed all over it, too. You know, for extra magic.
But if you buy some rainbow tape and put it in a regular-ass tape dispenser. That’s pretty ridiculous. That’s some serial killer type behavior, in fact. What you’re gonna want to do, see, is buy the rainbow tape that comes with a motherfucking unicorn tape dispenser that makes the rainbow tape look like it’s the unicorn’s tail every time you get a piece!
That’s the move.
That is so clearly the move here that it’s time for you to stop reading this now and start doing whatever you have to do with your life to acquire this item as soon as possible. Don’t break any laws, though. It’s not worth it.
[Find even more magical and mythical unicorn items in drunkMall’s Unicorn Attack gift guide!]