Guide to Traumatizing Your Children

Nobody really needs help traumatizing their own children.

It’s inevitable that you’re going to do it.

But much like how it’s worse to be cut with a dull blade than a sharp one (something about more tearing of the tissue), screwing up a kid deliberately and with skill is far more effective than stumbling into a scarring event on accident, which is only eventual.

So if you’re ready to quit playing around in the minor leagues and start swinging for the fences, here’s a handy little guide with 7 proven methods for making sure your children spend a significant percentage of their future income on years of therapy!

You probably think this is some kind of thing where you learn what not to do in order to avoid making the biggest mistakes you can make as a parent. You know what? Think whatever you want.

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