EXCLUSIVE: 2016 Fashion Guide for Food Lovers
It’s important to make a good first impression.
Studies regularly show that people will begin deciding “who you are” before they’ve ever spoken a word to you. Therefore, one’s appearance can be thought of as the first layer of a personality.
If your identity is mostly wrapped up in smart stuff like economic theory and thinking thoughts and stuff… Man, that’s a tough message to get across with a wardrobe! Have you tried a beard and glasses? Try a beard and glasses. Maybe make sure to carry a book with you everywhere, too.
But if you just really love food?
Oh baby, we’ve got you covered and smothered like a double order of Waffle House hash browns!
In this post, we’ve collected ten of the hottest looks for young men and women who only have an Instagram so they can stay creepin’ on what everyone is eatin’ on.
Heads up, though: the #6 post is Not Safe for Work!
For real, we’d love it if you share this post to Facebook and Twitter but warn your friends about #6 because we aren’t trying to get anyone fired.
#1 Motivational Pizza Shirt
Putting a clever twist on the logo and slogan of a major-athletic-brand-we-all-know-so-let’s-not-get-anyone-sued, here’s a shirt for all the pizza lovers (and enablers) out there. Screw the Paleo movement. Every day is Cheat Day. Pizza has always been there for you, bro. Just. Eat. It.
#2 Hot Dog Yoga Pants
What’s the use of doing all that yoga and perfecting your buns if you don’t slip a wiener in there every once in a while?!
#3 Cupcake Platform Heels
These Iron Fist pumps were almost too normal to make the list. But, then again, cupcakes.
#4 McDonald’s Belt Buckle
Can you smell the fries?!
What this belt buckle really comes down to is having the phrase “BILLIONS AND BILLIONS SERVED” right over your junk. Hey, we aren’t slut shaming. If you’re a pro, flaunt that.
#5 Kiwi Socks
Kiwi has got to be the greatest fruit. Everything about kiwi has a so fresh and so clean vibe to it, which is exactly the vibe you want associated with your feet!
#6 Pink Taco Thong Panties
All right, hey! Don’t act all shocked! You were warned about this one…
These thong panties are hand-made with pink lace and organic cotton. If the pink taco isn’t your thing, you should still hit up this Etsy store because TextileChampion has loads of other shocking underwear designs.
#7 Donut Hole Crop Top Shirt
Donuts are very good. This shirt is crazy, though, because something about the way the hole is printed makes it look like theres an actual hole through the person wearing it! Like maybe they have a hole in their heart and the only thing that can fill it is a sweet pastry with pink frosting and sprinkles…. *sad face emoji*
Oh, we also went ahead and tracked down those weed socks for you.
#8 Candy Cane Hoodie
Subtlety is a sign of true sophistication. While the red and white colors on this hoodie may be slightly louder than what’s considered standard, the candy cane pattern only becomes clear when a person gets closer. If you can’t see the signal that sends, your radar might be broken.
#9 Sriracha Beanie
There’s some BS article going around claiming that people who like spicy food are more likely to be alcoholics. Whatever. Some folks like a lot of excitement in their life – that’s all!
Hit the town even when it’s cold out with an officially licensed Sriracha beanie, complete with green pom on top to match the actual bottle.
#10 Pizza Abs Sweater
Yes, this is the second pizza item on this list but drunkMall really loves pizza!
All these food clothes probably made you hungry. We’re sorry if you were tempted to place a delivery order you shouldn’t have done… But true beauty is on the inside! Just because you’re padded with a layer or two of delicious melted cheese and pepperoni doesn’t mean you don’t have an 8-pack of abdominal muscled underneath all there, where it really counts!