The cards for sale at the local pharmacy are all bullshit.
Sweeping calligraphic fonts proclaiming middle-of-the-road positive sentiments…
Shitty cartoon puns that make The Family Circus seem funnier than Doug Stanhope…
Some half-ass folded piece of paper with hearts on the outside and nothing but blank space on the inside that you’re suppose to fill with words out of your own head even though you’re spending money to not have to do that…
Fuck all that fake noise.
This card is real as hell.
You got a pregnant chick in daisy dukes and a bikini top smoking in the background.
Someone’s manning a grill while soaking up the sunshine and drinking a beer.
What else is there to say?
You don’t even need to write anything on the inside. Just throw a $5 bill on the inside – boom, done.