Spruce up your dick!
If there’s one thing to be learned from spam emails, it’s that dudes care a lot about the way their cocks look. Yeah, a lot of people think it’s all just an obsession with size but if you think that’s where it ends, you’ve never spent three consecutive hours on Yahoo Answers laughing at guys trying to find out if they’ve caused irreparable damage to their junk through some grooming experiment…
Anyway, if you’ve got a super special date, forget about dick-in-the-box and don’t even consider going as low class as the hole-in-a-popcorn-bucket move (or a pizza box variation). Hewn from satin, complete with bow tie and corsage, the TUX is a one-size-fits-all fashion solution for upscale Johnsons.
If you’re wondering, there’s a little band that slips behind your “male undercarriage” to hold the TUX in place.