Tambourine
The tambourine is the official instrument of every person who wants to be in a band but can’t sing or play any (real) instruments. Now, this isn’t to say that every person you’ve ever seen holding a tambourine doesn’t have any talent. Stevie Nicks was amazing, for instance. It just means that any person you see with a tambourine, statistically, isn’t likely to have a lot of talent. 99% of people who want to be Stevie Nicks, for instance.
Keep in mind, just having a tambourine isn’t all it takes for a person like this to be allowed into a band. You’ll usually have to also be sleeping with at least one member of a band to become their new tambourine player.
Don’t get mad at us – we didn’t make the rules!
So if you’ve got delusions of grandeur and not much else to work with, here’s your solution.