Vibrating Sex Snorkel
Stay downtown for as long as it takes your partner to catch the O Train with a Snorkel O! Snorkel O is a non-intrusive breathing apparatus that fits in the wearer's nostrils. Rubber tubing connects to both sides of the nose…
Heavy Metal Emoji Keyboard
Praise Odin! Someone has finally given metalheads a seat at the emoji table by creating this third-party iOS keyboard with over 175 brand-new emojis. You've got longhaired hessian characters, whiskey bottles, middle fingers, bloody swords. Shit, they even gave you…
Hemp Soap on a Rope
Clean your body with good soap and good vibes, using this soap on a rope made with pure hemp seed oil. "Wait, aren't you a drunk shopping website? What's with the stoner gear?" Well, first, don't be a narc. Second,…
Fish Training Kit
Fish are pretty worthless as pets. They live in a tank and you feed them. Hopefully they look cool because that's all they're good for... Until now! Ever wanted a pet fish that could swim a slalom, score a soccer…
Mad Men Cookbook
Dine (and drink) like Madison Ave. executives of The 1960s with the recipes found in this "unofficial and unauthorized" Mad Men Cookbook! Now, one could be forgiven for saying, "Food? I remember everyone on that show doing a whole hell…
Japanese Happy Horror Kitchen Towels
These little kitchen towels are so cute on first glance but look closer and you'll see there's a bit more than meets the eye. In each graphic, you've got a kitchen appliance or tool that couldn't be more happy to be…
Slice Slice Baby Pizza Shirt
This has "new favorite t-shit" written all over it. (Not, like, literally. Literally, it has "SLICE SLICE BABY" written all over it. Like, literally that's a picture of the shirt right there. That's what's on the shirt." But look at…
Guacamole Tarot Beach Towel
If there was a deck of Tarot cards that just told you what food you should eat that day, wouldn't that be amazing? There isn't one. (At least, not yet. A ton of #wantrepreneurs read drunkMall though, so maybe there…
Watermelon Shark
Watermelon is so good. Always a hit at outdoor gatherings, no one really needs help making the watermelon more popular at the party. This is more like a way to use the inherent popularity of watermelon to show off your…
7 Foot Long Foam Sofa Bag
Bean bags are never as great as you think they'll be. They aren't even really that comfortable and it's always just a matter of time before they start leaking those little pellets that slowly take over your home. But this…
French Fry Lip Balm
It gets more difficult to justify eating french fries every year. Like, it's bad for you. Duh. Everybody gets that. But just about everything that's worth doing is "bad" for you and we do it anyway. The real problem is…
EXCLUSIVE: Greetings, Fellow Youths
Getting old is a bitch... So don't do it! They say age is just a number but, really, it's more like a culture. Every ten years or so, there's a shift in what's hot and what's not. As long as you…