Giant Octopus Kite
Go fly a kite! Really, you totally can and should! This huge octopus kite just as easy to fly as any regular kite. Actually, since this kite requires no assembly at all, then it's probably even easier to fly than a…
Life Manual for Adults
Think about this: How much older than you are right now were your parents when they had you? It's probably not that much of an age gap, if there is one at all. Okay, now ask yourself if you're going…
Keyless Entry Smart Lock
Unlock doors using a smartphone! Here at drunkMall, we're always saying how important it is to not leave home with car keys while intending to drink. The only keys a drunk person should have in their possession are the keys necessary to…
Desert Storm Trading Cards
Anyone who thinks baseball is America's pastime doesn't follow the news. War. What is it good for? You mean besides seceding from the British Empire, establishing the borders of our new country, killing each other over slavery (and some other…
Bald Eagle Mask
These majestic creatures are the symbol of America and now you can become one whenever you like with a realistic bald eagle mask and matching set of talons! We're less than a month away from celebrating Independence Day in the…
fsociety T-Shirt
Show your allegiance to the hacking elite with this fsociety t-shirt! The incredible series Mr. Robot will air the premiere of its second season on July 13 and if there's anything that could keep us inside on a beautiful Summer…
Rapid Drink Chiller
Cool your canned or bottled beverages down to ice cold temperatures in just a minute with this rapid cooling device! Everyone knows that trick where you take a warm drink and roll it back and forth over some ice to…
Body Shaping Undershirt
Is it starting to look like your 2016 Beach Body may be showing up a few weeks late? Have no fear, fellas! Please allow drunkMall to introduce you dudes to the concept of "compression" clothing. Like pretty much anything, the…
Risk: Game of Thrones Edition
There's no RISK of having a bad time when you break out this game at your next party! Yeah! Nailed that one! All right, so how's everyone feeling about this season of Game of Thrones? You all right? You doing…
Faux Denim Pajama Pants
This might look like a pair of trendy-in-the-2000s blue jeans but really its some of the most comfortable pajama pants on the market today, cleverly disguised! Think about how much you enjoy spending a day off at home, wearing shitty…
Vibrating Sex Snorkel
Stay downtown for as long as it takes your partner to catch the O Train with a Snorkel O! Snorkel O is a non-intrusive breathing apparatus that fits in the wearer's nostrils. Rubber tubing connects to both sides of the nose…
Heavy Metal Emoji Keyboard
Praise Odin! Someone has finally given metalheads a seat at the emoji table by creating this third-party iOS keyboard with over 175 brand-new emojis. You've got longhaired hessian characters, whiskey bottles, middle fingers, bloody swords. Shit, they even gave you…