Flask Mittens
It's good to have a secret supply of booze on hand! And it doesn't get any more "on hand" than a pair of mittens with a flask hidden inside of one. Pack away four ounces of your favorite liquid pick-me-up…
Stress Boob
It makes sense, really. Squeezing a boob was probably one of the first things you ever did to deal with stress when you were only an infant. Now that you're older, there won't always be a boob on hand when…
Pizza Slut sweatshirt
Okay, first of all? We are not using "slut" as a derogatory term, here. We own that word, as a label of strength and empowerment. Pizza empowerment! There is no reason to be ashamed of being a pizza slut. All that means…
Junk Food Socks
Calling all snack queens! Here we have eight pair of the most deliciously decadent footwear imaginable: women's ankle socks with all-over prints of various foods of varying indulgence! You've got your cookies and ice cream, your pancakes and snack cakes, your…
Gary Busey Photo with Pre-Printed Autograph
What could be kitschier than an autographed Gary Busey headshot 8x10? How about a Gary Busey headshot 8x10 that was mass produced with a pre-printed facsimile of his autograph?! Here's how that conversation might go: "Wow, sweet Gary Busey photo!" 'Thanks!'…
Titillating Coloring Book
Coloring books are the hot new trend for adults pursuing "mindfulness" in their lives. Most of the books we've seen get talked about are pretty lame, though. Why don't they make coloring books with pictures of the things adults care…
Fuck Off sweater
Fashion meets function! If you had to sum up the Tumblr generation with one equation, you could go with exaggerated cuteness + antisocial irony. Right? Like, "Yes, I spent three hours to look this way and, no, don't you dare…
One Gallon Flask
That's a huge flask! The point of most flasks is to have a convenient and discreet method of carrying liquid, usually booze, on one's person. That is so not the point this time, folks! Well over a foot tall and weighing…
Backstage with Beth and Trina Scratch-and-Sniff
Anyone who's ever been backstage at any rock show can testify to how truly horrifying it is that the creators of this book chose to make it a "scratch-and-sniff adventure." That being said, someone needed to document the adventures of…
Sneaky Snake Boxer Shorts
Ssssssure to give someone quite a sssssexy ssssssurprise, these boxer shorts are knitted from a soft and warm acrylic fabric, so it isn't itchy like wool. Aside from the fact that there's a prominent snake hanging off the front (and a…
Random Bullshit on VHS (and a DVD)
Here's the deal: drunkMall is working on some huge, top-secret, behind-the-scenes shit right now. As a result, we have not been keeping up with correspondence pertaining to scheduling giveaways. Giveaways are still happening and there are some really awesome things…
Buseyisms 2016 Calendar
A lot of people think Gary Busey is crazy. Well, if Busey is bananas then maybe we should all aspire to be out of our minds because Gary Busey seems like he's having an amazing time with being alive. Consider…