Adult Coloring Book
Have you seen a kid with a coloring book lately? They suck at coloring! Drawing all outside of the lines and everything. That’s how you used to color, too! Here’s your chance to redeem yourself with the skills you’ve picked…
Non-Electric Bidet Toilet Seat Attachment
Nobody at drunkMall has ever used a bidet because we’re uncultured Americans but they seem… nice? If nothing else, a stream of cold water up the backside, like it or not, would give more of a kick in the morning…
The Sriracha Cookbook
Oh, this is just pornographic… “50 Rooster Sauce Recipes That Pack a Punch,” it says… drunkMall loves hot sauce, it’s no secret, and sriracha is a great one. But up until now we’ve treated it as an afterthought, something to…
Gallium: The “Melt in Your Hand” Metal
No idea what you would actually do with this, other than have it and show it to people. Maybe this would be your thing if you were really in to The Secret World of Alex Mack girl. It is pretty…
Social Media Whore T-Shirt
This one goes out to all the branding specialists, social media gurus, Instagram influencers & hashtag aficionados acting like you’re working the hustle. You’re really just an annoying idiot with a smartphone and 15k fake followers. We all know you…
88-inch Curved 4k Ultra HD LED TV
This TV costs $20,000! That’s a ton of money! To be fair, it does have a huge, curved screen and that seems like it must be special and cool. So if you’ve got the wad for it... And if you…
Never Soggy, Always Crunchy cereal bowl
Welp, looks like we’re going to be buying way more cereal to make up for all of the soggy bullshit we ate as kids because nobody was smart enough to invent this… This bowl is so simple and awesome! There’s…
Spin the Shot drinking game
Does anyone really need the rules of this game explained to them? Ok, you put your “beverage of choice” in a small container, commonly known as a “shot glass.” Then you put the shot glass inside the Spin the Shot. Then you…
Handicorn: The Finger Puppet Unicorn
Before we talk about Handicorn, everyone knows Rule #34, right? We didn’t check - but there’s just no way it doesn’t apply here, so consider yourselves warned. Ok! Handicorn! Handicorn is a 4-piece set of finger attachments to magically transform…
Gangasaurus T-Shirt
The creator of this shirt emailed us to ask if we like it enough to put it on drunkMall - and of course we do! It’s a dinosaur with sunglasses! The designer is Fossilized Fashions and they have several other…
Self-Stirring Mug
Ooh, this is great! Now, you might think, “Who needs a mug that stirs itself at the press of a button?” Well, friend, we’ll tell you some people who might want one! Your mom Lazy people People who forget to drink…
The Godzilla Collection, Volumes 1 and 2
There used to be at least one good Godzilla movie marathon a year on TV when we were kids. If you never watched one, you have no idea what you’re missing. Godzilla movies follow a very simple formula and it’s…