Laser Tag Guns
Isn't this supposed to be the future? We've had laser tag for over 20 years and everyone knows it's exhilarating. Why don't we have more laser sports?! Where are all the people whose job it is to invent sports, what…
Gary Busey Photo with Pre-Printed Autograph
What could be kitschier than an autographed Gary Busey headshot 8x10? How about a Gary Busey headshot 8x10 that was mass produced with a pre-printed facsimile of his autograph?! Here's how that conversation might go: "Wow, sweet Gary Busey photo!" 'Thanks!'…
EXCLUSIVE: Spring Breakers Essentials
Spring Break is... Well, it's whenever it is. Different schools do it at different times. Whatever. We pretty much have to do a big Spring Break post, so here it is! If you already had your Spring Break by the…
Titillating Coloring Book
Coloring books are the hot new trend for adults pursuing "mindfulness" in their lives. Most of the books we've seen get talked about are pretty lame, though. Why don't they make coloring books with pictures of the things adults care…
Monkey Farts Fragrance Oil
Everybody loves monkeys! Probably not enough to want to sit around and smell their farts but that's okay because this doesn't smell like actual monkey farts. Monkey Farts is a fragrance with a very fruity and tropical vibe, some banana…
Fuck Off sweater
Fashion meets function! If you had to sum up the Tumblr generation with one equation, you could go with exaggerated cuteness + antisocial irony. Right? Like, "Yes, I spent three hours to look this way and, no, don't you dare…
One Gallon Flask
That's a huge flask! The point of most flasks is to have a convenient and discreet method of carrying liquid, usually booze, on one's person. That is so not the point this time, folks! Well over a foot tall and weighing…
Pepper Spray Blaster
Deliver up to two shots of exceedingly powerful pepper spray with this blaster gun! Fitted with front and rear sights to improve accuracy over a cylindrical sprayer, the PepperBlaster is capable of sending a blast thirteen feet in just 1/10 of a…
You Suck at Parking cards
Take the guesswork and creativity out of insulting strangers with rude notes by letting a pre-composed card do the talking for you! For the record, drunkMall believes in dealing with minor disagreements in person, calmly and rationally, but we're way,…
A Catapult
Take that inter-office war back to The Middle Ages with a little catapult action! Operating with the same mechanisms that helped angry hordes storm the castle walls for centuries, this miniature catapult is under a foot tall and weighs…
Backstage with Beth and Trina Scratch-and-Sniff
Anyone who's ever been backstage at any rock show can testify to how truly horrifying it is that the creators of this book chose to make it a "scratch-and-sniff adventure." That being said, someone needed to document the adventures of…
Sneaky Snake Boxer Shorts
Ssssssure to give someone quite a sssssexy ssssssurprise, these boxer shorts are knitted from a soft and warm acrylic fabric, so it isn't itchy like wool. Aside from the fact that there's a prominent snake hanging off the front (and a…