You Suck at Parking cards

Take the guesswork and creativity out of insulting strangers with rude notes by letting a pre-composed card do the talking for you!

For the record, drunkMall believes in dealing with minor disagreements in person, calmly and rationally, but we’re way, way in the minority on that one, so here ya go! We officially do not condone the use of these cards and are posting them here strictly for comedic observation.

These standard-sized business cards come 100 to an order and are printed on both sides. (The other side says, “ATTENTION ASSHOLE,” just in case the recipient has made the mistake of believing the card under their wiper blade is from a big-wig with a lucrative business opportunity or something.)

If you get all Patrick Bateman about business cards, you’ll be glad to know that you can also get these in a bunch of other different paper blends, colors and even corner styles.

[Do you love practical jokes? Jump over to our Prankster’s Paradise gift guide now!]

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