Blue Pubic Hair Dye
You don't have to be going gray downstairs to use pubic hair dye - it can just be a super special fashion statement! If you haven't developed a taste for granny porn, it's totally possible that you didn't know pubic…
DIY Chocolate Penis Molding Kit
Share your sweet stick with anyone who wants it by casting it in decadent milk chocolate! Clone-A-Willy has a rock solid reputation for making penile molding kits foolproof enough for consumer use. They even have one kit that lets dudes make…
Penishand Oil Painting
Congratulations, you've just won the awareness of this painting's existence! Wait, wait - that's not all. Unlike all those masterpieces on display in art museums around the world, this painting is currently available for purchase and can be acquired at a…
Tickle Massage Gloves
Psst, hey you... Yeah, you! Have you ever been... tickled? No, not like when you were a kid. Now, as an adult, in a sensual way... Tickling - it's the hot new thing! You may not read about it in the…
EXCLUSIVE: Accidental Genitals
It's the #1 rule of marketing: Sex Sells! Attractive people wearing suggestive clothing or making "do me" eyes at the camera have nothing to do with 90% of the products being sold to us every day. And, yet - there…
Pin the Boobs on the Babe
Pin the Tail on the Donkey is a game for children. That being established, we've learned at drunkMall that children and drunk adults have a lot in common. Talking too loud, crying, the occasional incontinence - it's all there. And…
Linen Bondage Rope
Alright, let's not even waste time by pretending this is a gag gift or something. We live in a post-50 Shades of Grey world. Yes, that book is the grease fire inside of a dumpster behind a Long John Silvers…
Turkey G-String
Gobble, gobble, gobble! Here ya go, fellas! Put your big bird on display in the style it deserves with this turkey of an undergarment! It's pretty much just an ordinary male G string with one very not ordinary detail: rather…
Sperm USB Flash Drive
You can store loads of information on this flash drive! What size is it? That doesn't matter! Oh, size does matter? Because it's a storage device? Fine, then this fun little sperm-shaped USB drive comes in several sizes, from 8…
Naked Lady Chef Apron
Make a bold fashion statement while flipping burgers in the backyard! This chef's apron lets the wearer show off their inner sexy belly dancer with an image of, you guessed it, a sexy topless* belly dancer! And you know what…
3D Book of Boobs
Boobs are good! This book is full of good boobs. Page after page of boobs, boobs, boobs - in 3D! That's right - using the absolute latest in 3D technology from the 1800s, The Big Book of Breasts brings all…