Amazing Deodorants
This is unquestionably the best scented deodorant that has ever been worn inside drunkMall HQ. The boss man picked some of this stuff up a couple years back, when the company went by a different name, because they also make some…
Golf Club Piss Jug
This is what they call a gamechanger! Golf is a game where you spend most of a day walking around outside and swinging various sticks at a little ball until you knock it into this hole or that hole. It's…
Chin Hammock
Trying to catch some shuteye on long journeys is nothing short of a nightmare for most people. See, it's mostly an issue of gravity and stasis. The physical effects of gravity often prevent a comfortable degree of stasis when trying…
How to Eat Out
It's a skill many claim to possess but few often do - the science and art of eating out. You may say, "Now, drunkMall, don't give me any of that business. I've been eating out for my entire life and…
Weenie Whistle
If you've ever seen the classic Christmas movie The Santa Clause then you honestly don't even need to read this post. Just scroll down to the bottom, click the link button and pick yourself up a legendary weenie whistle. Everyone…
Fire Extinguisher Lighter/Flashlight
Imagine if a fire extinguisher did the exact opposite of what a fire extinguisher is supposed to do... Wait, you don't have to do that because someone already made that thought into a reality! This little novelty won't help you…
Batman Kissing Superman Sticker
Batman vs. Superman was not a well-received movie. Critics didn't like it. Comic book fans didn't like it. Audiences didn't like it. Maybe that's because Batman and Superman fighting each other is not something people want to see. Did anyone…
Shittens Ass Wiping Mittens
Listen, we don't have to talk specifics on why a product like this is necessary. But facts are facts and it's a fact that this is a product that just about every one of us could have used at one…
God Had Sex with a Dinosaur by Hugh G. Rection
This short story could have been written by a dyslexic 5th grader and it would still have to be better than at least half the books on the New York Times Bestseller list for 2015. It's all about that premise, man.…
No Free Sex Sticker
It's time for another round of Guess What the Weird Sticker Is Supposed to Mean! Seriously, where does this stuff come from and how does it make sense on any level? Say no to "free sex." What does it mean?…
100 Assorted Stickers
It's always a good idea to have some stickers on hand. Say you get a new skateboard or an old car or possibly you're opening up a brand new bar or music venue with a bathroom susceptible to graffiti. All of…
Blue Pubic Hair Dye
You don't have to be going gray downstairs to use pubic hair dye - it can just be a super special fashion statement! If you haven't developed a taste for granny porn, it's totally possible that you didn't know pubic…