Brain Candle
Calling all wannabe evil scientists! drunkMall can't make you any smarter so you're on your own with the science stuff but you know how the bad guy in the movie or cartoon always has a laboratory with shelves full of…
Lemon Cooler Bag
Keep everything so, so chill with a brand new cooler bag! Lugging a big cooler around almost never works as an accessory to a cute outfit. Music festivals and river floats, you're gonna need a big fucking cooler, of course.…
Scale Model Planets
Gain a different perspective with scale models of some celestial bodies! Little Planet Factory does exactly what you'd expect from a company with that name: churn out top-quality replicas from our solar system, only smaller. The largest globe currently available…
Marble Infinity Pool Sink
Life is for enjoying. That doesn't mean you need to become some sort of cut-throat alpha business figure, ready to claw over anyone it takes to rise to the top of a money pile. It just means you should enjoy…
Pottymouth Pencils
Take note, bitches! It's time to start getting shit done. Write that shit down, get it out there and wait for everyone to recognize how fucking brilliant you are! Sorry/not sorry for all the cursing but, if you somehow skipped…
UMAD Airlines Shirt
Uh oh! You might have to re-accommodate some of the t-shirts in your closet to make room for this one! UMAD Airlines is a 100% fictional airline. That's good because who would want to buy tickets to fly on a…
Kim Kardashian Ass Pool Float
It's a good thing Kim Kardashian's ass never did break the Internet because if that had happened then you'd probably never find out about this pool float. That's right. Like a fame groupie's dream come to life, you can now…
Portable Shot Glass Keychain
A party can break out anywhere at anytime - you've gotta be prepared! Maybe someone's got a great playlist, someone else has a bottle or two... Don't be the only person who doesn't contribute something to the proceedings! With this…
EXCLUSIVE: Return to Twin Peaks
Welcome back to Twin Peaks, everybody! It gives us unparalleled pleasure to bring this gift guide to you. drunkMall would have eventually written a big post all about Twin Peaks products because season one is literally the best season of…
Monster Grandfather Clock
There's something so "90s sci-fi" about these grandfather clocks. Like, if you've ever seen Event Horizon, Demolition Man or Starship Troopers then you should have no trouble at all imagining a clock like this in the background of any night scene…
Torpedo Shots
Battleshots, by any name it assumes, is the unequivocal bee's knees. When it comes to drinking games, battleshots is up there with the best of them. Unlike beer pong and most drinking games that aren't played with a deck of cards,…
Mail-A-Butt
You probably never realized that you want to send a butt in the mail to someone but you so totally do. And who could blame you for that? Cheekmail fashions little butt casts made of plaster for you to send…