GIVEAWAY: Eyes Open Sleep Mask
Never let anyone catch you sleeping again! This sleep mask is printed on the outside with an image of WIDE OPEN human eyeballs. Block out the light to help you get better sleep while looking like the most alert person…
Vintage Anti-Fascist Songs
In the year 2017, a new type of Nazi guy got punched in America twice in one day. As you would expect, this caused quite a fuss. Most people with Internet access seemed to be extremely entertained about this Nazi punching…
Sloth Infuser and Mug Set
Take it nice and slow with a relaxing cup of tea, brought to you by the spirit animal of every slacker, the sloth! Sloths are so chill. All they wanna do is be left alone, eat some snacks at a…
Ghost Pepper Popcorn
Popcorn is already such a compulsively addictive food. Once you start eating popcorn, it's really hard to stop! That's because the typical saltiness dehydrates your body while also stimulating your salivary glands. Your mouth starts to feel dry and you…
Chicken Ramen Phone Case
Who feels like chicken (flavor) tonight? And tomorrow... and the next day... The appearance of this phone case is instantly recognizable to every one of you who had to pay off a student loan or work for two years as…
Elephant Drain Container
This elephant never forgets to keep water from collecting at the bottom of its body! Many homes have little containers by some, if not all, the sinks in the place. A little cup by the bathroom sinks to keep toothpaste…
Paul Ryan – The UNOFFICIAL Magazine of Paul Ryan
Paul Ryan - The UNOFFICIAL Magazine of Paul Ryan is now accepting subscriptions! Who was the last Speaker of the House who could speak with authority on what 12 foods you should eat to keep your abdominal muscles ripped? John…
Bob’s Burgers Recipe Book
Ever wanted to take a big ol' bite of some delicious looking thing you saw in a cartoon? Hey, we aren't talking about Rule 34, weirdo! We're talking about burgers - Bob's Burgers! The Belcher family in the wildly popular…
Hands-Free Dog Poop Collection System
Nobody likes picking up dog poop. But make no mistake, you're a huge jerk if you don't pick up your dog's poop. We see you and we judge you. Even though there is never a good excuse for not picking up…
Beef Jerky Bouqet
Valentine's Day is coming up but not everyone is in to flowers and candy. In fact, not everyone is into relationships or Valentine's Day! This February 14th, you can go way outside the box and give your significant other something…
Sexual Origami Book
There's an ancient Japanese tradition that any individual person who folds one thousand origami cranes will be granted one wish by the gods. Seems like any gods who made that deal would be open to a similar deal for anyone…
Plastic Welding Kit
Unless you're Amish then you've gone through about five billion phone charger cables by this point in your life. Is it a conspiracy of obsolescence? Fuckin' probably! But you no longer need to live under that shadow governm- er, corporative…