Boyfriend Pillow
Don't get sucked in to the hype! You don't need to get into a relationship just to have that feeling of falling asleep with an arm around you because guess what: there's a pillow for that now! The Boyfriend Pillow…
Haters Gonna Hate Patch
Get these three words into your head: haters gonna hate! No matter who you are, no matter what you do or how low profile you try to be about it, there will eventually be a hater that crosses your path.…
Vincent Van Gogh Action Figure
X-Men and The Flash aren't the kind of heroes everyone needs but those are pretty much the only game in town for action figures. It makes sense. The word "action" is right there. The little doll has to have moving…
Hot Dog Toaster
Make having hot dogs at home just as convenient as it is to have hot dogs anywhere else! [WARNING: if eating hot dogs is not something you should be doing for any reason at all, stop reading this post right…
Penis Worship Lighter
In the long tradition of greasy gold chains worn on exposed hairy chests and TIME TO FUCK wristwatches, we proudly direct your attention to this lighter in the form of a gargantuan golden cock being embraced (worshipped?) by a naked…
Wall Mounted Bookmark
Reading a book before bed is the move. It's gotta be a real book, too, kids. Turns out staring at your beloved phone screen before bed is exactly the worst thing you can do before bed. Something about the kind…
Fondue Mug
Somehow there are restaurants you can go to that only serve fondue dishes. Can you believe that? It's true. Also, these restaurants are, without exception, astronomically overpriced. Many of them are so unapologetically expensive that they actually keep their menus…
Phone Case with Wallet Compartment
Anyone walking around with a phone as well as any form of wallet is carrying too much stuff around. You don't have to do that anymore, people! This phone case has a wallet compartment hidden in the back of it. Flip…
Freudian Slippers
Two things grow more common with age: one's propensity to wear slippers and the frequency with which one's true mind leaks from their mouth before a conscious filter can be applied. The latter act is sometimes referred to as a Freudian…
Dickbutt Patch
Day #1257 of the Meme War and we see no sign of an end in sight! Stay safe out there, soldiers! The enemy is relentless. Shitposting platoons are thick. But you must remember your training and look for holes in…
Pink Lips Ashtray
These ceramic ashtrays look like an open pair of lips. And, yeah, that's a little weird because if you imagine a cigarette being ashed into an open mouth, that's pretty damn gross. But also it totally fits in with any…
EXCLUSIVE: Love Stinks!
In the perpetual transition from one holiday to the next, we've now reached the point in the year at which is will soon be Valentine's Day. You're already aware of this because there's no earthly possible way that you wouldn't…