Show off your ability to keep an open mind with a small but eye-catching enamel pin! We could probably find and post some ass-kissing quotes about how open-minded people are better than close-minded people. But that's just not our style and,…
Stephen King once said, "Monsters are real." He said some more stuff after that. Monsters are real, though. If you can't take the word of the guy responsible for more nightmares than probably anyone else on earth, then perhaps you'd…
It seems like every single day for the last two weeks there's been a headline that causes you and/or your social media friends to lose their entire minds, right? American politics in 2017 is a new species of animal. We…
Valentine's Day is fast approaching. That's a holiday when everyone who still manages to believe in things like love and monogamy (despite the world happening around them), congratulates everyone else who believes in those things, specifically the one other person…
In the year 2017, a new type of Nazi guy got punched in America twice in one day. As you would expect, this caused quite a fuss. Most people with Internet access seemed to be extremely entertained about this Nazi punching…
Paul Ryan - The UNOFFICIAL Magazine of Paul Ryan is now accepting subscriptions! Who was the last Speaker of the House who could speak with authority on what 12 foods you should eat to keep your abdominal muscles ripped? John…
Anyone who follows politics has certain figures they despise. It's part of the deal. You're Right. They're Wrong. They get to be on TV, spreading their Wrong all over the world. You have to sit at home, watching them mouth…
So, the second Presidential debate happened earlier tonight and - full disclosure - this post is being written on September 30th, so we haven't actually seen the debate (because it won't be happening for another week) but if it's anything like…
The state of politics in America has literally reached the point where an extremely poorly educated (and fictional) Canadian pothead and criminal could stand a reasonably good shot at becoming President if they entered the race right now. How 'bout it,…
Now that Obama's 8 years in office are almost up, he can finally chill out and relax a bit. You know, even let his hair grow out some if that's what he feels like doing. Can you even imagine how…
Hillary Clinton seems to be on everyone's shit list in 2016, so it was really only a matter of time before someone went and put her face on toilet paper. That time is now! We try to stay out of…
Ted Cruz has (finally) dropped out of the race to become the Republican nominee for President. That means most of the "Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer" swag available online is likely to become limited edition in the very near…