Shark Fin Life Jacket for Dogs
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the lake, your dog looks at you and says, "Ay, fam. I told you my fantasy was to be a shark for a day. What's up with this lame…
Poems by Dogs
Let's be real, if our four-legged friends were capable of creating high art, dogs would not be the ones writing poems. That would be feline territory. Cat condescension screams "I'm a misunderstood poet!" But also, if dogs did write poems, it…
Dog Poop Bag Communicator
Beam up the dog poop, Scotty. Scotty... Come on, Scotty - beam up the dog poop! Scotty never beams up the dog poop, does he? Oh, if life could only be that simple. But no, this isn't a beloved science…
Dachsund Ice Cube Tray
Hot dog? In this weather?! You must be out of your mind! A "hot" anything is not what the doctor ordered for the summer of 2017, people. We need to cool it on down, lil doggies! Cool doggies... Cold dogs... Ice…
Micro Feisty Pets
What's sweeter than cuddly cute little animal babies? How about cuddly cute little animal babies that turn into vicious beasts at the drop of a hat? Okay, wow. Pick your hat up off the ground. Not a literal drop of…
Turn Around T-Shirt
Listen, you won't find very many "funny" shirts on drunkMall because that shit is basic. So when we do post a t-shirt like this then you should recognize that it's time to pay attention. Boys and girls, now is that…
FitBark Wearable for Dogs
Monitor and track your four-legged friends' life stats! This waterproof wearable for canines syncs via bluetooth to an app that be accessed via iOS, Android and your web browser. In that app you can check your dog's daily activity and sleep…
GIFT GUIDE: Mother’s Day for Bad Kids
Congratulations, you forgot Mother's Day again. It's not like your mom needs anything from you, right? She only lugged you around inside of her body for most of a year and then managed to keep you alive for another 18…
Hands-Free Dog Leash
Batman isn't the only one with a utility belt now! Strap this thing around your waist before heading out on a run and give yourself 3 zippered compartments for storing important items (money, ID, phone, etc.), a water bottle holder…
Dog Food Condiments
Think about how often you use condiments to improve the whole situation on a table in front of you. Now think about your dog. Don't you think your dog would love a little extra something something on that depressing ass…
Wiener Dog Sign
When you've got the finest wiener in the world then you're going to want to show it off. Now you can let the entire planet know about your amazing wiener with this prestigious sign! Hang it on the wall of…
Pet Pouch Hoodies
It's time for the human species to admit that we got screwed over. Mammalians are clearly the best class of vertebrates, so we came very close to perfection. We took a wrong turn on the way through the Pouches Department…