Anyone who thinks baseball is America's pastime doesn't follow the news. War. What is it good for? You mean besides seceding from the British Empire, establishing the borders of our new country, killing each other over slavery (and some other…
Grandma, what large breasts you have! Yeah, you've probably heard that coloring books for adults is the new thing but did you know that adult coloring books for adults is also the new thing? They get a lot more graphic than…
Is it starting to look like your 2016 Beach Body may be showing up a few weeks late? Have no fear, fellas! Please allow drunkMall to introduce you dudes to the concept of "compression" clothing. Like pretty much anything, the…
It can be difficult to shop for fathers. The last thing they want is another tie. Yeah, dads love dumb jokes but you'd rather get them something they'll actually like or use than another novelty gift that's only good for…
This might look like a pair of trendy-in-the-2000s blue jeans but really its some of the most comfortable pajama pants on the market today, cleverly disguised! Think about how much you enjoy spending a day off at home, wearing shitty…
If you can't immediately think of 10 reasons why you need to own a pocket-sized device capable of creating blasts of noise over 100 decibels in volume... Well, your inner child needs to be let out to play. First, obviously,…
Hey, look. It's a picture of the U.S. Economy. Jokes! These are jokes, people! Come on, now... But seriously, folks. Haven't you ever wanted to take a bunch of money and just light on fire or destroy it or something?…
Stay downtown for as long as it takes your partner to catch the O Train with a Snorkel O! Snorkel O is a non-intrusive breathing apparatus that fits in the wearer's nostrils. Rubber tubing connects to both sides of the nose…
Now this is the kind of pest control ingenuity we like to see in America! Why use a flyswatter to take down pesky houseflies when you can smoke 'em with a handgun?! That's a question the makers of Bug-A-Salt answered when…
Is this a thing? Like, are parents buying pacifiers like this and having their babies use them to freak out strangers in public or what? Because in The '80s and '90s, when everyone stated going to raves and doing first…
Like a bullet to the brain. That's what it feels like when a forgotten thought comes rocketing back from the abyss after it's too late. Get yourself a corkboard and use these bullet casing push pins to tack up those…
It's Memorial Day Weekend here in America. That means none of us have to work on Monday and this weekend will be full of backyard cookouts, campfire hangs, a whole lot of boozy parties and guns! Wait... Booze and guns?!…