Dry Erase Clock
Time is whatever you need it to be with this post-modern clock piece. Where a traditional clock would have a face full of numbers to tell the time of day, this clock's surface is a blank slate made from dry-erase…
Heavy Metal Activity Book
Bust out the blood red crayons because this is the coloring book to kick the shit out of all other coloring books! Fun for ages 8 all the way up to you geezers with one foot in the grave, it's…
Obama Chia Head
Now that Obama's 8 years in office are almost up, he can finally chill out and relax a bit. You know, even let his hair grow out some if that's what he feels like doing. Can you even imagine how…
God Had Sex with a Dinosaur by Hugh G. Rection
This short story could have been written by a dyslexic 5th grader and it would still have to be better than at least half the books on the New York Times Bestseller list for 2015. It's all about that premise, man.…
Bourbon Lollipops
Bourbon is so delicious that someone went and made lollipops that taste like it! Keep these suckers away from the kids, though. They're non-alcoholic but think about it - do you really want to get a child hooked on the…
Shower Boobs
Everyone knows a shower is better when boobs are in it. Ask any woman who's showered with a lover how much attention their boobs got in the shower. Case closed. Now that we've established that, how'd you like to have a…
Sushi Dress
Nothing says "Feed me sushi!" like a cute dress covered in nigiri and maki. Printed on white material and cut to let your legs and arms breathe, this is a perfect dress for spring and summer. And that's great because when…
Bottle Opener Kitchen Scissors
You know how it is. You're in the kitchen, slicing up some meats and it suddenly occurs to you that you've not yet had a beer. While that beer may not be a part of any recipe and it obviously…
The Wingman Tandem Shotglass
Hit the town at flight speed with your #1 partner in crime! The Wingman is a pair of tandem shot glasses. Like those bicycles that have two (or more) sets of seats and pedals for multiple people to ride at…
Sea Captain Hat
Oh captain, my captain! If you want to hear these words being screamed in your bedroom then owning a captain's hat would be a step in the right direction. Hang this naval captain's cap on the bedpost and it'll always…
Gizmo Swimsuit
There's kind of a sick sense of humor in making a swimsuit with a mogwai on it. Let's not forget that the second rule of owning a mogwai is that you can't ever get it wet or it will spawn several…
Pirate Pet Costume
Aye, it's high time for all landlubber vermin mice to walk the plank, mateys! Cats already act like they're the boss of everything so go ahead make it official. Come here, Mr. Whiskers! It's time you became Captain Whiskers, the…