Candy Leggings
How sweet it is to find a new favorite pair of leggings! With a soft and comfortable poly/spandex blend that's lightweight and breathable, these are that type of leggings that you look at in the dirty clothes pile and wonder…
Nudifier App
Pulling down your friends' pants in public used to be a socially acceptable way to hilariously embarrass them. Unfortunately, now that we're all adults, it's a socially unacceptable way to get someone put on a list they'll never get off…
GIVEAWAY: Micro-Magic 8 Ball
Life is hard. So much uncertainty. And, ugh, one decision after another that needs to be made. Take out the guesswork with a Magic 8 Ball! "But drunkMall, I can't leave every major decision of my life up to an…
No Ragrets Temporary Tattoo
Bad tattoos are a thing, naturally. But another thing that's a thing is irony and it could quite possibly lead one to make an even worse mistake than getting a bad tattoo. For example, let's assume you're a hipster and…
Bicycle Headlight and Taillight
Bicycle safety just got a bit safetier. Okay, well, that's clearly not a word. Whatever. Headlights. Taillights. These are safety measures installed on every car that's legal to drive in The Unites States. Why don't we have these on bicycles…
X-Ray Oven Mitt
Burning all the flesh and sinew off your hand until there's nothing left but raw bone might sound like a pure badass move. But actually, kitchen safety is the real pure badass move. (Hey, fuck off. We're trying to be…
Wearable Voice Recorder
Ideas seem to have very little regard for any individual's daily schedule. Whether you're a creative person or business professional or, more likely, some combination of the two, then you're in a position where one little idea is like finding…
Guide to Traumatizing Your Children
Nobody really needs help traumatizing their own children. It's inevitable that you're going to do it. But much like how it's worse to be cut with a dull blade than a sharp one (something about more tearing of the tissue),…
Chain-Reaction Pong Ball Launchers
A fun and unique toy for everyone who gets a kick out of cause-and-effect playing out right before their eyes! For fans of games like Mousetrap, YouTube videos of Rube Goldberg machines, target practice dunk tanks at the fair and…
Longclaw Umbrella
Well, winter finally came... Which means spring is right around the corner and you know what that means! April showers are coming, it is known. Be prepared for the coming storms and shield yourself from the rain with a Longclaw…
Snail Goop Face Mask
We will put anything on our faces in the name of beauty. Right away you know some jerk is probably sitting there trying to think of something they can say in the comments that people wouldn't put on their face.…
EXCLUSIVE: Scottish Appreciation Day
It's a rare bird that doesn't love a bit of Scotland, whether you know it or not. With St. Patrick's Day coming up, the entire drinking world will soon be singing the praises of children of Ireland (if not claiming…