Giant Beer Glass with Boobs
Grab some ta-tas the next time you reach for a beer with this oh so sexy beer glass! Boobs and beer go together like peanut butter and jelly... like Starsky and Hutch... like Spongebob Squarepants and weed... You get the…
British Willy Care Kit
Ah, the British! How is it that everything done overseas seems to be done with so much more ceremony and refinement? Is it the accent? Even their manscaping kits look like something you'd give a person for graduating law school…
Nobody Likes a Cockblock Book
Everybody's just trying to get their swerve on, you know? The last thing you want is to have some person keep the good times from rolling. This book explains that in terms that even a child could understand, although you…
Body Painting Canvas Kit
Running out of date ideas? If you've been together that long, perhaps you would be interested in an artistic manifestation of the relationship. You don't even have to invite some possibly sketchy artist from Craigslist over to your place to…
They Will Never Find Your Body Gift Card
It's always so difficult to find that perfect gift card for that special someone. A card that says both "I really like you" but also "there's a small chance that I'll murder you if this whole thing doesn't work out."…
Guardians of the Galaxy-Themed Sex Toys
Oh, don't act surprised! You're not new to the Internet... You know Rule 34... If it's only a matter of time before any new and popular thing gets turned into porn, then it's only another year or two after that…
Butt Sipper Drink Lid
The dream is real! Every drink you had to drink from a vessel that didn't look like a butt, every sip through a straw that wasn't rammed between silicone butt cheeks, all those terrible times your beverage failed to remind you…
Cocktastic Coloring Book
An instant classic of the adult genre of adult coloring books: it's Cocktastic! Boasting "artistic willies" to help you maintain "extreme mindfulness," you can beautify these phalluses with crayons or colored pencils or smashed makeup mixed with your own saliva -…
Cute and Kinky Rolling Papers
For when you're absolutely obsessed with every aspect of your cute and perverted life being on brand: it's pink pussy rolling papers! The actual papers are white. In fact, there's nothing really special or different about the rolling papers themselves.…
Fake Hard Nipples
Give yourself the appearance of having nipples dialed all the way up to ten at all times with a set of reusable silicone nipples! It's a niche product, yeah. But a certain percentage of the people reading this sentence right…
Kim Kardashian Ass Pool Float
It's a good thing Kim Kardashian's ass never did break the Internet because if that had happened then you'd probably never find out about this pool float. That's right. Like a fame groupie's dream come to life, you can now…
Slutty Cereals
Start off your day the freaky way with some kinked out breakfast cereal! It's not an ad agency mockup. It's not a joke. These cereals are the real deal, available for purchase and enjoyment right now! Unless you grew up…