I Could Pee on This: Cat Poetry
If cats had thumbs, they would all be poets. Think about it. All that a cat does is lay around all day, get high on catnip and demand to be fed without performing any labor as repayment. Sound familiar? That's…
Homemade Twinkies Machine
Remember when they stopped making Twinkies?! It was horrible. For almost a full year, there were no new Twinkies made in America! That's just not right. Wikipedia literally defines Twinkies as an "American snack cake." If the U.S. Government can bail out…
Fabulous Puppy Wig
No, it's not the latest Lady Gaga fashion shoot... (Yeah, yeah. We're terrible people.) It's a glamorous wig for your puppy dog pals! Shown here is a delicious number we're calling The Late '90s Christina Aguilera/Gwen Stefani but there are several…
Naughty n Nice Stay Puft Mug
Some days even coffee isn't enough to keep from turning you into an enormous evil marshmallow monster that wants to destroy an entire city and can only be killed by a massive explosion caused by crossing the streams of four…
Unicorn Wine Bottle Holder
Unicorns are magical. Wine is magical. Coincidence? Hardly. Everyone knows that unicorns love to drink wine. They can't get enough of it, in fact. It takes the edge off when people are always trying to hunt them down to harvest…
Purple Rhinestone Tongue Phone
It's faaaabulouuuuuussss!!! Forget about sexting. Take it back to the old school with some hot and heavy breathing over a landline. Okay, okay... You don't have to get all Miss Jackson if you nasty with the mouth phone if you…
Doge throw pillow
Very doge! So much drunk purchase! Today's Singles Awareness Day countdown item is an adorable shoutout to da real MVPs of unconditional love: our pets! If there was a Tinder for hanging out with cute baby animals, do you think anyone would use…
Levitating Bonsai Trees
The ancient art of bonsai receives a modern makeover with these fascinating pieces. drunkMall doesn't usually post things that are this... nice but come on! These little things are awesome! Bonsai trees are pretty difficult to keep alive, just so you know,…
X-Files Prayer Candles
There are many unsolved mysteries in this universe. Some find it best to try and not think about that. However, there are others who'll never be able to stop searching for answers to the great secrets of life. Are we alone? Are…
Solar-Powered Double Rainbow Gadget
Everyone knows how exciting double rainbows are, right?! They're SO intense! Whoa my god! What does it mean?! Okay, okay, this device won't make the same kind of double rainbows that we all saw in the guy's video. But it…
Full Bottle Wine Glass
There's absolutely nothing wrong with spending February 14th, a.k.a. Singles Awareness Day, at home with a bottle of wine. But some of us have friends who are unfamiliar with this esteemed holiday, choosing instead to spend that date celebrating…
The Wine Condom
February 14th is Singles Awareness Day. Condoms are maybe the most important part of a successful career as a single person in today's dating pool. Everyone knows this by now, right? Riiiight? You crazy kids... Your wine is no different.…