Thrash Metal Black Cat shirt
Cats are metal. This is known. You may remember this from such classic moments in cat t-shirt memory as the time drunkMall posted the My Cat Listens to Metal muscle tee. There is no known animal that is as metal…
Fabulous Puppy Wig
No, it's not the latest Lady Gaga fashion shoot... (Yeah, yeah. We're terrible people.) It's a glamorous wig for your puppy dog pals! Shown here is a delicious number we're calling The Late '90s Christina Aguilera/Gwen Stefani but there are several…
One Pound Snickers Bar
Have you ever had a Snickers bar? They're delicious. Have you ever held something in your hand that weighed a pound? You don't know? Oh, well, here is a list of some things that weigh approximately one pound: a guinea…
Wu-Tang Phone Case with Five Camera Lenses
Protect ya neck AND ya phone with this amazing Wu-Tang phone case that comes with five interchangeable camera lenses! You gotta give it up to this one. Most band swag was clearly designed with minimal effort other than stamping a…
Wide-Eyes Contact Lenses
Here's some more of that kawaii action! These are also known as "circle lenses" and, if you look at the photo closely, you can see that there is a thick, dark border all the way around the "iris" part of…
Straight James/Gay James: Poems by James Franco
Does anyone else feel like James Franco and Shia LaBeouf are competing for who can be the weirdest, most meta-aware A-list celebrity actor? If they are, Shia is totally winning. That live-stream of him watching his own movie in an…
Grumpy Care Bear sticker
Of the ten original Care Bears (and don't even pretend like any other Care Bears matter), Grumpy Bear is 100% the best bear. Every other bear was basically the same, happy bear! Grumpy Bear is the only Care Bear with…
Unicorn Wine Bottle Holder
Unicorns are magical. Wine is magical. Coincidence? Hardly. Everyone knows that unicorns love to drink wine. They can't get enough of it, in fact. It takes the edge off when people are always trying to hunt them down to harvest…
Everything Is Bullshit book
Happy Singles Awareness Day, everybody! Everything Is Bullshit wraps up our S.A.D. Countdown for 2015 because a lot of the "traditions" of being in a relationship are 100% ridiculous, downright cruel, even. Did you see Blood Diamond? Watch Blood Diamond…
EXCLUSIVE: 2016 Fashion Guide for Food Lovers
It's important to make a good first impression. Studies regularly show that people will begin deciding "who you are" before they've ever spoken a word to you. Therefore, one's appearance can be thought of as the first layer of a personality.…
Two-Finger Salute Phone Case
"Ayyy, lemme get them digits!" 'All right... Here's one digit. And here's the other!' Y'all are welcome to use that but please tweet the story to us if you do: @drunkMall Human strangers are the worst kind of stranger. At…
Purple Rhinestone Tongue Phone
It's faaaabulouuuuuussss!!! Forget about sexting. Take it back to the old school with some hot and heavy breathing over a landline. Okay, okay... You don't have to get all Miss Jackson if you nasty with the mouth phone if you…