EXCLUSIVE: Back to School Gift Guide
This is the most bullshit time of the year for a lot of people because it's when they return to college, where they're going into debt to learn shit they could look up on the Internet for free so they can have…
Giant Golden Swan Pool Float
This pool float is FAAAABULOUS! Everyone makes such a big deal out of the goose that laid the golden egg, nobody ever asks what hatched from the egg. Maybe it was a golden swan! Okay, but that's all fairy tale…
Carbonite Han Solo Wall Decal
Here's a pretty great reminder that things could always be worse... drunkMall recommends all home furnishing decisions be made with either practicality or inspiration in mind. Whether we're talking Pink Floyd posters, a nun sucking off a unicorn horn or a…
Horse Head Squirrel Feeder
Backyard squirrels are always horsin' around anyway - make it official with a horse head feeder! If this reminds you of those super creepy horse head masks that became weirdly popular over the last three years or so, there's a…
Skull Planter
We found this skull on Pinterest. Did you know goth girls use Pinterest? Yeah, it's crazy. We thought the only people who used Pinterest were soccer moms who drive minivans and speak with Fargo accents. Turns out Pinterest is more…
Dry Erase Clock
Time is whatever you need it to be with this post-modern clock piece. Where a traditional clock would have a face full of numbers to tell the time of day, this clock's surface is a blank slate made from dry-erase…
Obama Chia Head
Now that Obama's 8 years in office are almost up, he can finally chill out and relax a bit. You know, even let his hair grow out some if that's what he feels like doing. Can you even imagine how…
Shower Boobs
Everyone knows a shower is better when boobs are in it. Ask any woman who's showered with a lover how much attention their boobs got in the shower. Case closed. Now that we've established that, how'd you like to have a…
Gizmo Swimsuit
There's kind of a sick sense of humor in making a swimsuit with a mogwai on it. Let's not forget that the second rule of owning a mogwai is that you can't ever get it wet or it will spawn several…
Wax Rope Candle
This candle has a timer built in to the design! Pretty much every candle will burn as long as you let it. Not necessarily a good thing. Houses have burned down because of it, for sure. This candle isn't like…
Fart Stopping Underwear
Farts happen. Honestly, it's pretty remarkable that we've advanced as far as we have with both society and technology without more effort put forth to solve problems that have been around before civilization itself. Like farts in public. We've all…
Agent Smith Sunglasses
You don't have to be an avatar of pure evil badassery to look as cool as a supervillain! Agent Smith from The Matrix series has always been one of the best dressed bad guys around. Sharp suits accessorized with sunglasses…