This is almost sacrilegious but Beyonce is like the millennial Oprah. Not that she's out here giving away cars on TV or trying to start a book club or any of that. But she's an inspirational figure for millions and millions…
If you've ever seen the classic Christmas movie The Santa Clause then you honestly don't even need to read this post. Just scroll down to the bottom, click the link button and pick yourself up a legendary weenie whistle. Everyone…
If you aren't aware that Frank Ocean (kinda) released his ridiculously hyped new album over this weekend, you probably don't need a website called drunkMall to tell you that you're out of touch with what's going on in the world today. But for…
When it comes to pizza, always say yes. When it comes to drama, always say no. That's it. Nothing else needs to be said about this shirt but if we don't type some more shit here then Google will think…
You ever accidentally sleep in and miss out on a super rare Pokemon? Ugh, it's the worst! You don't have to let it go down like that next time, though. This retro style alarm clock has two bells and a…
The Portal video games are... difficult... to explain. But that's drunkMall's job, so here we go! Okay, Portal is a puzzle-type video game. Think, like, Chip's Challenge. In the video game, the basic premise that you're pretty much a lab…
You can't glue the broke pieces of your life back together with unicorns and rainbows but if you need to, like, tape an envelope shut or some administrative shit like that - we've got great news for you - that…
Imagine if a fire extinguisher did the exact opposite of what a fire extinguisher is supposed to do... Wait, you don't have to do that because someone already made that thought into a reality! This little novelty won't help you…
It's difficult to know the intentions of whomever created this Michael Jackson mask. On one hand, it's absolutely terrifying. That's not even debatable. If this mask had been around when John Carpenter made the first Halloween movie, there's a strong…
A standard flask doesn't really hold that much alcohol so you'd better make it count and fill it up with the good stuff! This flask has a 6oz. capacity, which is around 4 "official" shots of booze. Not a whole…
There's "not terrible" breath and then there's Tic Tac breath. The difference is huge and noticeable. If it's so easy to have Tic Tac breath then why would you ever settle for "not terrible" breath? You're better than that. You…
It really doesn't get anymore "I don't give a shit what you think about me" than wearing a My Little Pony poncho with pink pony head hood on it! Where would you wear something like this, you ask? Uh, where wouldn't…