Hammock Pool Floats
Hammocks in water are so much better than hammocks on land. Look, if you enjoy more than, say, 13 alcoholic beverages on an average day then a hammock strung up between two trees or whatever is not your friend. You…
Guardians of the Galaxy-Themed Sex Toys
Oh, don't act surprised! You're not new to the Internet... You know Rule 34... If it's only a matter of time before any new and popular thing gets turned into porn, then it's only another year or two after that…
Hard Partying Panda Shirt
Maybe pandas were so close to going extinct because they just party too hard. Even after humans took an interest in keeping their species thriving, the actual panda bears themselves didn't seem to care that much about making more panda…
Butt Sipper Drink Lid
The dream is real! Every drink you had to drink from a vessel that didn't look like a butt, every sip through a straw that wasn't rammed between silicone butt cheeks, all those terrible times your beverage failed to remind you…
Cocktastic Coloring Book
An instant classic of the adult genre of adult coloring books: it's Cocktastic! Boasting "artistic willies" to help you maintain "extreme mindfulness," you can beautify these phalluses with crayons or colored pencils or smashed makeup mixed with your own saliva -…
Japanese I Don’t Care Sweater
There are only so many ways in the English language that you can try to make people understand that you truly do not give a shit. Sometimes you've got to reach outside your own culture and borrow from another in…
Vomiting Swan Faucet
It's always hilarious when you go over to someone's house and see something like this. You never really know if the homeowner is aware that they have a sink setup that looks like a swan just throwing the fuck up…
GIFT GUIDE: Mother’s Day for Bad Kids
Congratulations, you forgot Mother's Day again. It's not like your mom needs anything from you, right? She only lugged you around inside of her body for most of a year and then managed to keep you alive for another 18…
Wu-Tang Sword Logo Shirt
Display your allegiance to the one and only Wu-Tang Clan with this epic tee! The legendary Wu-Tang logo is all anyone needs to recognize a fan of the Wu but this particular shirt has some extra clues that you're more…
NES Controller Notebook
Here's a cheat code for life: own a notebook. Studies have shown that physically writing something down (rather than typing it) leads to people being more likely to remember what was written down and being quicker to locate the specific note in question if a refresher…
Korean Plunger
Uh, did Korea just dunk on the rest of the world? The rest of us are out here shoving plungers into shit-clogged toilets and then probably just keeping the business end of that whole situation in a bucket in a…