No Smoking Condom
This condom seems like an inside joke taken way too far. Anyone have any idea what this could possibly mean? Is it a "lost in translation" thing? These condoms seem to be made in Scotland. That is definitely a universal…
Phone-Powered Fan
If you go to a music festival, there's a super easy way to spot the people you want to be your new friends: look for the person or persons using their phone non-stop, like they couldn't care less how long…
Unicorn Spit Lube
Remember MTV Cribs? Just about every episode, when the celebrity showing off their house finally got to the bedroom, they'd almost always make the same joke: "This is where the magic happens..." We don't know what kind of "magic" was going…
Emoji Masks
Calling it now: if there isn't already a Horror movie being made about a pack of murderers wearing emoji masks, there will be one in less than a year. There's no reason these masks should be scary but they just…
Learn Spanish with Rosetta Stone
Ever get drunk and decide you should learn a foreign language? Well, hang on. Give the idea a few seconds to sink in... Speaking more than one language is almost like having a superpower. Society is built on language and…
Alcohol Vaporizer
Yo, if you aren't vapin' your booze by now then you're dangerously close to being unhip, bro! Oh, you didn't even know that #VapeLife had branched out to the alcohol department?! Now you know! And let that be a lesson…
Wilderness Survival Guide
Another title for this book could have been How to Not Die in the Woods. Hell, we could have written that book ourselves. It would've been very short, though. One sentence, in fact: Don't go in the woods. But…
Giant Swan Pool Float
Serious question: is there a person whose job at the pool float factory is to test out the new pool floats? Because that has got to be the best job in the history of capitalism. Laying around in a pool,…
Dickhead Mask
We'll go ahead and assume more of you will be purchasing this as a "gift" for someone else than as a great Halloween costume for yourself. But, hey, it takes a special kind of person to decide they should be…
Bacon Print Duct Tape
So here's a thing we let happen in our generation. On top of allowing "literally" to some-crazy-how wind up officially flip-flopping harder than HRC to mean the exact opposite of what it's supposed to mean, we let people refer to…
Faded NASA T-Shirt
If you've got the right look, pretending to work for NASA is pretty easy to pull off when you're at a bar where nobody knows you. Do with that information what you will. Just sayin'. NASA put humans on the…
EXCLUSIVE: Tax Refund Shopping Spree
Last week was the federal income tax filing deadline for 2016 (if you didn't know - surprise!), which means many of us are looking forward to that sweet, sweet refund check. Now, yeah, you could deposit that check into a savings…