EXCLUSIVE: Not So Ugly Christmas Sweaters (And 1 Ugly One)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that but most of what people are calling “ugly” Christmas sweaters these days ain’t all that ugly, if you ask us. Maybe you haven’t been paying attention lately but the fad has churned out some real winners in the last few years.
The other thing is that this isn’t a “don’t wear white after Labor Day” sort of situation. These duds are good for the entire cold season so treat yourself to a stylish new look this winter by grabbing one of these epic pullovers! (Just like all the other pieces drunkMall has posted to the sweaters department of the site.) If it’s possible for an item of clothing to be called a “conversation starter,” then each and every one of these sweaters fits the bill…
Let us not forget the inspiration for this style of clothing, however.
Before it was an ironic thing, the ugly Christmas sweater was very much an earnest, non-ironic thing. We’ve included a throwback example of the real thing in the list below, just to give you an example of how far we’ve come!
#1 Santa Fighting a Shark Pullover
The true meaning of Christmas, of course, is to commemorate the anniversary of a man named Santa Claus going round for round with a great white shark and living to tell the tale.
Wait, no – that’s not right.
Anyway, did you ever think you’d see a sweater illustrating a scene just like that?
Now you have! And not only that but you can hang it in your closet, if you like.
#2 Barb (from Stranger Things) Pullover
Stranger Things came out of nowhere to capture the hearts and minds of us all in 2016. The cast of the hit Netflix series found themselves turned in to meme after meme. For some reason, Barb, a character with very little screen time (and a unique fashion sensibility), became an Internet sensation all on her own – inspiring open love letters, fan fiction and this gorgeous sweater!
The color scheme is reminiscent of something Barb might wear and she’s shown wearing an alternate version of it in the image, while holding a book titled How to Beat a Demagorgon!
(Should have read that book a bit sooner, Barb…)
#3 Knit Krampus Sweater
Krampus is like Santa Claus for everyone who views Christmas as nothing but an increase in the number of screaming children within earshot.
Send out those sinister vibes with a Krampus knit sweater. It shows everyone’s favorite Yuletide demon dragging around a chain and he’s already snagged one naughty little brat in his sack!
#4 Beer Christmas Sweater
This would be a pretty poor drunk shopping website if we didn’t throw in something for all the beer drinkers out there.
Featuring a frothy mug of beer in the center and adorned with a series of bottle and keg illustrations, this sweater lets everyone know that all you want for Christmas is beer!
As if they didn’t already know…
#5 Guns n’ Roses Sweater
You don’t have to get down on your sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na knees, knees and beg for someone to make you a rockin’ Guns n’ Roses sweater because this one already exists!
It’s got guns!
It’s got roses!
What more do you want?!
#6 Ugly Yeti Sweater
Here it is – the ugly sweater we promised you!
The folks over at The Sweater Store apparently found a storage unit full of vintage, one-of-a-kind Christmas sweaters because they’ve got maybe a thousand of them available on their site right now. That’s where we found this one.
It looks like an abominable snowman (a.k.a. a Yeti) holding up a bunch of mistletoe, hoping for a kiss?
The thing that makes an “ugly” Christmas sweater ugly is that you can tell the person who made it was not trying to make an “ugly Christmas sweater,” so if you’d like to see more examples of what that means, go check out The Sweater Store’s inventory while it lasts!
#7 Jesus Pullover Sweater
We made that whole Santa Claus fighting a shark thing up.
Christmas is really supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Jesus and, well, a lot of people seem to be really pissed off that this isn’t discussed more often (or, you know, literally every time the holiday is discussed).
So here’s a sweater to remind everyone that Jesus is the reason for the season!
It features your “Jesus is my homeboy” version of the messiah, giving a thumbs up and a wink.
#8 The Legend of Zelda Pullover
Future generations will never know the thrill of pulling a wrapped gift with your name on it out from under the tree and tearing the paper off to reveal a golden Nintendo cartridge with the words “The Legend of Zelda” on it.
This pullover is for everyone who knows that feel.
The center of the sweater shows the classic game’s start menu and the rest of the surface area is overloaded with villains, friends and weaponry featured in the game.
#9 Gremlins Knit Pullover Sweatshirt
There seems to be a general consensus online that Die Hard is the best Christmas movie…
But have you ever seen Gremlins?
Because that shit holds up very well!
Your favorite little mogwai, Gizmo, has his cute face all up in the middle of this sweatshirt, you’ve got some random gremlins screwing around up top and then a few of the real nasty dude hanging out on the bottom.
Remember not to eat after midnight while wearing this!
#10 Santa Joker Sweatshirt
This would be a great one to wear to a Dirty Santa party.
Just let everyone know that you don’t care about their feelings or anything else except for walking out of that room with the gift you want most and you’re prepared to cause as much damage as is necessary to make it happen!
It’s the classic Joker, here. (None of that nu-Joker bullshit.)
Some tasteful HA-HA’s and wind-up teeth spread around the design, playing card pips line the bottom and your main man The Joker wearing a Santa hat in the middle of it all.
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