Just because the whole nation is screwed doesn't mean you can't get screwed, too! Whether the Oval Office is manned by a donkey or dumbo, you've still gotta get yours on a Saturday night. So what's the move? Fire up…
See that cover? Yeah, it’s like that. Coloring books are going through a weird transformation right now. The yoga pants, juice cleanse, brunch crowd decided coloring is a healthy and relaxing activity for adults. Who knows? Whatever. It’s brought about…
Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, it might be full of candy but the only way to find out is to hit it over and over with a stick. Life is also a lot like a bachelorette…
We’re all about freeing the nipple at drunkMall but if a lady (or guy) wants to cover up their hot spots with pasties (or is required to by law) then you might as well make it interesting! Pastease is the…
Good lube is hard to find. How often we’ve set out on that mythical quest to the drugstore, only to find that the well has run dry yet again - and it’s staying dry, too... But not this time! This…
Okay, so nobody at drunkMall HQ remembers finding this - or at least nobody wants to admit to finding it. Yet here it is, in all its red, white & blue glory: The Bro-job! Gotta be honest, the lack of…
Right off the bat, nothing written on this website should ever be viewed or acted upon as sound medical advice. If there’s any confusion about that, it should be cleared up when we end this sentence by saying that squeezing…
The descriptions of these things always use the word “discreet.” Like, are you sure? Shouldn’t “discreet” last longer than a few seconds after someone looking , “Oh, what’s this?” If you want to see discreet, check out this hidden TV wall-mount. That’s discreet.…
Women across America are allegedly having stripper poles installed in their homes for exercising purposes. As a result, we imagine dudes across America are spending more weekends at home - everybody wins! Lookin’ for something sexy to wear while you’re on…
Right up there with other classics like the “Time to Fuck” wristwatch and five golden chains buried in an explosion of chest hair, it’s a keychain of people having sex! Recommended for fans of The Shocker keychain. Not just any sex, either.…
Remember this trick? Always a crowd pleaser. Even the very first time, it’s obvious the guy isn’t taking the tip of his thumb off over and over again. But that’s what makes illusions so awesome! We know what we’re seeing…
Oh, boy, here we go again… You know how they say not to judge a book by its cover? That’s bad advice. What does the cover of this book make it look like to you? If you said it looks…