“You’re Screwed” Political Condoms

Just because the whole nation is screwed doesn’t mean you can’t get screwed, too!

Whether the Oval Office is manned by a donkey or dumbo, you’ve still gotta get yours on a Saturday night. So what’s the move? Fire up Tinder and start swiping your way to a hot lead and set a meeting.

But then, uh oh, turns out this one likes to talk politics. Ain’t that a bitch? It’s an election year, sure. All the TVs in the bar are tuned to some rally or debate or whatever, fine. But you aren’t about to go out like that!

Fish one of these out while your date is talking, lock in that eye contact, slide the condom in front of them and give it a quick double-tap. Let ’em know what time it is.

(It’s boning time, if you didn’t get that. You probably did. We’re sure you did. But, you know, just in case: boning time.)

[Like political humor? Hit up drunkMall’s Super Tuesday Booze Day gift guide!]

I WANT IT