EXCLUSIVE: Greetings, Fellow Youths
Getting old is a bitch... So don't do it! They say age is just a number but, really, it's more like a culture. Every ten years or so, there's a shift in what's hot and what's not. As long as you…
Zombie Eyes Sleep Mask
You ever notice that when someone in a movie uses a sleep mask they always get bothered by other people? It's weird. That probably wouldn't happen if everyone was scared to bother them, though. And people might be scared to…
Wasabi Candy Canes
You may be thinking, "But, drunkMall, it's nowhere near Christmas! Nobody wants to buy candy canes in the middle of May!" Oh, yeah? Well, news flash, suckers - these aren't your average candy canes! Anyone with adventurous tastebuds knows all…
Temporary Dickbutt Tattoo
Want to feel old? Dickbutt has now been a thing for ten years. Don't know who or what a dickbutt is? Well, first of all, we have no idea how you found this (or any other) website. Congratulations on your…
Disgusting Pee and Poo Sweatpants
No, the guys from Jackass aren't auctioning off their used clothing. These are Goosh pants, the sweats designed to look like someone had a little too much fun - or too much iced coffee and bean burritos! You might be…
Burrito Yoga Bag
The most difficult part of yoga is finding the motivation to actually show up to the class. Once the mat's down and the breathing's started, it's all downhill from there. But something about getting there seems like so much work.…
Blowing Monkey Nail Polish Dryer
Why blow on your own fingernails when a cute little monkey buddy will do it for you? This battery-powered nail dryer is super cheap, so a lot of the people who buy it don't seem to realize that it's even…
Extreme Ironing Photo Book
It's the latest craze in extreme household chores! Phil Shaw has risked life and limb to put together this beautiful and inspiring photobook of extreme ironing, the sport he founded in 1997. Extreme Ironing takes household chores to the most death-defying environments…
DARE Fanny Pack
It's just crazy enough to work... Think about it. If you had something fun or valuable to hide, where would the best place to hide it be? That's right - the most uncool place imaginable - a blue and yellow D.A.R.E.…
An Actual Fire Alarm
Most of you reading this, like us, could be classified as "night people." Getting drunk and staying up all night go hand-in-hand. It's fine. The problem comes when morning rolls around and it's time to wake up. Waking up is hard…
SUV Air Mattress
You know what this is for! Hell, we almost filed this post under the SEX category... But, yeah. If the only reason you're going "camping" is so you can get some alone time with that special someone, you don't have…
Donald Trump Voodoo Doll
Can Donald Trump be stopped? Some of the talking heads on television say he can, some say he can't. The truth is, none of them can be sure of what they're saying and only time will tell. There isn't a…