I Could Pee on This: Cat Poetry
If cats had thumbs, they would all be poets. Think about it. All that a cat does is lay around all day, get high on catnip and demand to be fed without performing any labor as repayment. Sound familiar? That's…
Purple Rhinestone Tongue Phone
It's faaaabulouuuuuussss!!! Forget about sexting. Take it back to the old school with some hot and heavy breathing over a landline. Okay, okay... You don't have to get all Miss Jackson if you nasty with the mouth phone if you…
Doge throw pillow
Very doge! So much drunk purchase! Today's Singles Awareness Day countdown item is an adorable shoutout to da real MVPs of unconditional love: our pets! If there was a Tinder for hanging out with cute baby animals, do you think anyone would use…
Now Shutup About It mug
Every office has that one person. Ugh. You know the one. Always making sure everyone knows how good of a job they did with the job but really all they did was their job. It's like, yeah, great job on…
WTF: Situational Survival Guide
From the second we're born, this life is one WTF moment after another... WTF? is a book that claims to show us "How to Survive 101 of Life's Worst Fucking Situations" From the description, the types of situations seem to…
Levitating Bonsai Trees
The ancient art of bonsai receives a modern makeover with these fascinating pieces. drunkMall doesn't usually post things that are this... nice but come on! These little things are awesome! Bonsai trees are pretty difficult to keep alive, just so you know,…
X-Files Prayer Candles
There are many unsolved mysteries in this universe. Some find it best to try and not think about that. However, there are others who'll never be able to stop searching for answers to the great secrets of life. Are we alone? Are…
Calvin and Hobbes TARDIS pillow
Everybody's favorite comic strip duo made a TARDIS! Calvin and Hobbes always did tackle the deep metaphysical issues. More often than not, the answer was to be found inside a cardboard box and a liberal application of imagination. That's how…
Fetty Wap Glock in My ‘Rari decal
If you for real have a Ferrari, hey, that's awesome. Good for you. Most of us, however, don't. But this lyric still means something to us because we've all got our own metaphorical Ferraris, yeah? And metaphorical Glocks to protect…
Solar-Powered Double Rainbow Gadget
Everyone knows how exciting double rainbows are, right?! They're SO intense! Whoa my god! What does it mean?! Okay, okay, this device won't make the same kind of double rainbows that we all saw in the guy's video. But it…
Polaroid Toilet Paper Roll and Camera-Shaped Holder
A picture is worth a thousand words, so... Eh, maybe we won't finish that thought. If you don't think about the philosophical implications of wiping butts with nice pictures of houses and flowers and clouds and stuff, this is a pretty…
Stefon Prayer Candle
Praying to the same old saints that people have been praying to for hundreds of years doesn't really make sense. What do you think St. Thomas knows about getting you in to New York's hottest club or making sure DJ…