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EXCLUSIVE: Funderwear

Underwear are fun. That's simply a fact. But the "fun" in "funderwear" means functional today! Skivvies, panties, pants, underpants - whatever you call your underthings, they serve a purpose. That's why you wear them. drunkMall is all about taking it to…

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Baconfest 2017

EXCLUSIVE: Baconfest 2017

This post is not safe for vegetarians! You probably already figured that out, though, based on the big closeup photo of crispy pork strips. Today it's all about the culmination of all exploration into the meat arts: bacon! Homer Simpson…

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Start practicing your "oi" now - the punk shelf of your closet needs some freshening up! Save all the talk about who or what is and isn't "punk" because that's not what this is about. (Seriously? Look at the website…

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Scottish Appreciation Day

EXCLUSIVE: Scottish Appreciation Day

It's a rare bird that doesn't love a bit of Scotland, whether you know it or not. With St. Patrick's Day coming up, the entire drinking world will soon be singing the praises of children of Ireland (if not claiming…

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Monsters Are Real

EXCLUSIVE: Monsters Are Real

Stephen King once said, "Monsters are real." He said some more stuff after that. Monsters are real, though. If you can't take the word of the guy responsible for more nightmares than probably anyone else on earth, then perhaps you'd…

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Sex Sells


You don't have to be a total piece of shit wannabe entrepreneur with a library of unread marketing books in the garage of your Hollywood hills home to know that sex sells. Just check the spam folder of your email. Probably…

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Love Stinks

EXCLUSIVE: Love Stinks!

In the perpetual transition from one holiday to the next, we've now reached the point in the year at which is will soon be Valentine's Day. You're already aware of this because there's no earthly possible way that you wouldn't…

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Butt Stuff


Butts are so in right now! Butts have always been in, though, because of science and how people need to want to do sex to each other to further the species and all of that and so on, etc. So butts are…

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Top 20 Drunk Buys of 2016

EXCLUSIVE: Top 20 Drunk Buys of 2016

This is the main event, people! 2016 was the first full year that drunkMall was in operation. (Of course, that didn't stop us from doing a Top Ten Drunk Buys of 2015, based on only a few months of info.)…

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Mini Hieronymus Bosch Statues

EXCLUSIVE: Mini Hieronymus Bosch Statues

Anyone who recognizes the name Hieronymus Bosch knows that he's a dude who painted some truly bizarre, even disturbing scenes. His most famous work, The Garden of Earthly Delights, is a surreal clusterfuck of imagery that still has art scholars arguing over…

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Watch Out


The wristwatch is just now hitting its stride because nobody really needs one anymore. When most of us are walking around with smartphones, there isn't much of a reason to strap a device to our wrist that does nothing but…

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New Beers Resolutions

EXCLUSIVE: New Beers Resolutions

This one's for everybody who made a realistic resolution for 2017. Take all that "new mind, new body, new you" hooey and stuff it, okay, folks? Everybody knows the stats on how busy gyms are in February compared to January and…

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