EXCLUSIVE: Life Hacks for Sale
Are you SICK & TIRED of all these PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE?!?! Spoiler Alert: Pro Tip - You need some LIFE HACKS! Before drunkMall, it used to be quite an undertaking to find some decent life hacks. You can only…
Cat Lady Sweater
First impressions are important. It's all about communication, broadcasting relevant information as clearly and efficiently as possible. Fashion can do a lot, here. Naturally, you can't always judge a book by it's cover. But it's also safe to say that…
Massive Faux Fur Comforter
Slumber the cold winter nights away like a king beneath this massive faux fur bedspread! It's a comforter fit for royalty. A replica of the style of blanket that's been keeping mankind warm for centuries - you can imagine something…
Tight Butthole Turkey Shirt
Thanksgiving is so totally tight butthole. Of all national American holidays, Thanksgiving is easily the tightest of buttholes - think about it. Most major holidays require purchasing a gift for at least one other person (and sometimes many other people).…
Hello Kitty Ice Cube Tray
Oh no, it's too cute! Make it stop! Hello Kitty has been non-stop ramming adorable products down our throats for, what, forty years at this point? (Yeah, that's real. Look it up.) Well, you shouldn't be surprised. This is yet…
Fuck Off Sleep Mask
You would think that a sleep mask, in and of itself, would convey certain messages. Like, there is a person wearing a thing over their eyes that is called a "sleep mask" so they are most likely trying to get some…
Politician Cat Scratching Posts
Anyone who follows politics has certain figures they despise. It's part of the deal. You're Right. They're Wrong. They get to be on TV, spreading their Wrong all over the world. You have to sit at home, watching them mouth…
Remote Control Centipede
There are two kinds of people in this world. The first kind of person is the one who hasn't seen that video of a giant Asian forest centipede (which looks a lot like this toy) dragging a white mouse down…
Whale Knife
Whale that's a pretty cool knife right there! Don't get it wrong - just because this chef's knife looks exactly like a cute whale doesn't mean you shouldn't respect it or treat it with the same reverence as some overpriced…
Black Bear Sleeping Bag
Be your own teddy bear! This isn't a bear costume. It's actually a sleeping bag! With arms and legs and a big bear head hood, it's like being perfectly tucked in the entire night. Seriously, though, it's really not made…
Spider Dog Costume
Spider dog, spider dog, does whatever, a spider dog does... Okay the theme song needs work but look at how cute this pet costume is! Give your dog what he's always wanted this Halloween: 8 legs and googly eyes! Huh?…
Playing Pandas Phone Case
Cutest phone case in human history? Maybe. Cutest phone case in panda history? Definitely! Like a short stack of cuddly awesomeness, the back of this phone case has three rosy-cheeked panda bears dog-piled on top of each other. Getting left…