Sriracha Beanie
Fight the cold with sriracha this winter! Wait, wait - don't dump hot sauce on your head. Bad idea! We're just talking about this wicked branded beanie cap! The weather gets cold and everyone has to hide under layers to…
Frankenberry Lip Balm
Frankenberry lip balm - so delicious that it's spooky! If you were lucky enough to have parents who understood that your baby teeth were just going to fall out anyway, you may be familiar with Frankenberry cereal. It's one of the…
Censorship Sunglasses
Do tabloids and sex ads in the back of awful porn magazines still use black bars over someone's eyes to "protect" their identity? You know, like, if some celebrity punches a paparazzo and the scumbag who got punched didn't give…
Guinness Slippers
Stay warm through the winter with a nice pint of Guinness... on each one of your feet! Even though Betty the Intern has an Irish uncle who swears soaking his feet in warm Guinness is great for his eczema (disclaimer:…
School Sucks Laptop Sleeve
Whether you're wasting your life trying to start a white-labeled e-commerce business or you're wasting your life in a classroom listening to a professor talk, chances are good that this laptop sleeve applies to you. Unless you attend Hogwarts or…
One-Handed Bottle Opener
What a neat bottle opener! The little magnet in the top keeps the whole unit locked in place so you only need to push up on the lever to pop the cap on that beer (or soda) bottle. When not in…
EXCLUSIVE: For Sriracha Lovers Only
Condiments are like a life insurance policy on any meal. Whether you effed up another cooking attempt at home or just paid too many dollars for a lackluster burger, chances are good that there's a bottle of something or other…
Pink Rhinestone Lips Phone
How incredibly glamorous! Everyone who still has a landline - what the fuck are you doing?! No but, like, really. Whatcha doin' there with that landline? Whatever your situation is, one thing is clear: If you've any hope of retaining…
Minimalist Arc Lamp
Finding a lamp like this makes it so easy to feel like you have good taste and can decorate your home or office like a mature adult. Look at this freaking thing! It's like someone managed to get one, single…
Bad Fortune Cookies
Fortune cookies have always kind of been some bullshit... Like, obviously, fortune-telling isn't "real" anyway. But if they really want to sell the illusion then they should at least not have every single fortune be some vaguely positive, complimentary or hopeful…
2017 Daily Hunk Calendar
It's always time to look at a beautiful male body when you've got The Daily Hunk 2017 calendar! Time... It's the only thing worse than relatives, as Alfred Weinsten would say. Time flies when you're having fun but most of…
Darth Vader USB Hub
Use the force of electricity to charge several devices at once! Phones, iPods, L.E.D. shoes, vibrators... It seems like everything that holds a charge these days pulls the juice in through a USB connector. At a certain point, there just…