Pop Quiz: when do you need dice? If you said, “Five minutes after a wormhole opens inside the game closet and blasts random stuff, like all the dice, into nineteen other dimensions,” congratulations - that is the correct answer! You’ve won…
We might need to have somebody explain this one to us. Like, in order to have a functional punching bag, one must refrain from washing a significant percentage of one’s wardrobe. Unless you have just a shitload of clothes, in…
We’ve noticed that people who drink a lot tend to dislike chores. Actually, let us put that in a different way. We drink a lot. We don’t like chores. Anything that cuts down on things we’re supposed to do every…
2015 is deader than a six pack of Mickey’s grenades. Let’s pause between blackouts on this New Year’s Weekend to take a moment and remember the drunken purchases that we all made last year. We've got some memes, some mind-blowing…
Last week, we learned about showerbeers for our Shower Beer Buddy giveaway. Now that we’ve had time to think about it, we realized that showerbeers aren’t so crazy because we’ve known about drinking wine in the bathtub for years and…
Right off the bat, nothing written on this website should ever be viewed or acted upon as sound medical advice. If there’s any confusion about that, it should be cleared up when we end this sentence by saying that squeezing…
This one’s a no-brainer: alcohol + smartphone = whoops! Give your smartphone an added layer of protection from yourself (and your other self) with a screen shield. We stopped paying attention to these a few years ago because they all…
Did you know there is an entire sect of society built around enjoying alcoholic beverages while in the shower? It’s real. A lot of these people hang out at /r/showerbeer and just kinda let each other know that, yes, they…
Show up to any holiday party with a rack of these and, trust us, people will be into it. If you invite drunkMall to your party, make sure there are plenty of salt & vinegar potato chips. We will for…
Who ever thought the future would be a place where we don’t do laundry anymore? We’re here for it! Zero idea how it works but this fabric is apparently just like “nah” whenever any sort of liquid (like wine) tries to…
Finding out this exists and we’ve never had it hurts on a spiritual level we were not prepared to deal with today. “Go to the boss’ office, just look her in the eye and transmit the feel telepathically until everyone…
Being cold sucks. What else sucks is not being massaged, like, all the time. That’s how rich people get to live. Nothing but warmth and massages all day. Turns out, it doesn’t cost that much money to be warm and…